Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML
Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML
Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking to grab a granola bar when my boss walked in my office. We talked for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realized I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML
Today, in science class, I was bored and playing with a paper towel, dipping it into a container of water. When my teacher caught me and asked what I was doing, I panicked and said I was "drying the water." FML
Today, I didn't have any money to buy a tampon from the dispenser at my school but my hands are small enough so I can just slide them up and grab one. My hand got stuck in the dispenser and my school had to call the fire department. Now everyone calls me "Tampon Girl." FML
Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML
Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML
Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML
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Top comments
saIty 17
Look her straight in the eyes, shove that tampon up your nose, and remain eye contact. She'll never call you out like that again.
Selphis 20
It's only natural... I hope the teacher feels like a dick now though!
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Comments (139)
fallenforhim 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's a tampon. Who cares?
putloginhere 6
The teacher who thinks it's a phone? And I would think it would be pretty embarrassing
gTOtheT 7
Not every girl wants the whole world to know about their period. Some (me, for example) would rather not announce it to the whole world!
liv_graham 7
I'm pretty sure if you had to change your tampon, you wouldn't pull it out in plain view, and let everyone see it. Maybe ask for a mouth filter for Christmas
IAmJad 18
She didn't have to announce It to the whole class...
pradip 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Awkward !
RvidxrKlvn 8
Lol, i'm pretty sure people are starting to thumb you down just for being yourself.
Inheritance 10
More like embarrassing. I would die of embarrassment if I was in OPs shoes.
bestnameright 14
Lol I agree with 19 I've liked most of them.
happle 21
Being on your period isn't anything to be ashamed of. I don't see why some girls get so embarrassed.
ICastillo 25
Poor pradip can't catch a break. One day pradip one day, you'll blow everyone's mind with a funny comment.
Bibliovore 26
#41, you're right that it's nothing to be ashamed of, but in junior high and high school almost anything gets made fun of, and bodily functions -- particularly those involving OMG!sexbits! -- are prime targets.
chell1894 13
I would have waived it around with no shame. Every girl gets a period. Hopefully the teacher felt like an a$$
Ozuru 11
pradip, I like your comments. Don't worry, I upvote whenever I see them. People hate them for some reason, but you just...keep posting. Keep it up *o/*
sanjana378 0
Well I guess he just said what he felt!!
happle 21
64- I don't wave my tampons around, but I I need one, I'll take it out without making a big deal of how "embarrassing" it is.
lionheart822 13
I don't see why the OP didn't just pull out their phone from wherever they were keeping it. It's prove they weren't using it and might save them the embarrassment.
DocBastard 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This FML would be extra FMLish if you had been a man. Wait...you ARE a woman, aren't you?
stargirl_95 24
Well if OP was a man he could claim that he had a tampon because he was prone to nosebleeds. She's The Man was right, tampons work great for nosebleeds, although it is slightly disturbing to see someone with a tampon shoved up their nose.
miserypoison 13
Yeah! Stick it to the man!! .. I mean, up the man.
Inheritance 10
There's a slight chance OP is a male; and that possibly he uses tampons to get drunk by shoving it up his ass, after dipping it in vodka.
silverhelms 5
Ever heard of the 4th amendment?
corruptedlol 2
48 - What does due process have to do with this?
DogsPaw 16
Yes I've heard of it, what of it?
s15c 9
I think 48 was trying to suggest we need more potatoes. Yes, that must be it.
SiriusBlack97 17
Why is a girl's period something to be so ashamed of? But FYL OP
OhDearBetrayal 25
It's not something to be ashamed of, but most people don't like announcing their bodily functions to the whole world. As an example, everybody poops, but when you go off to the bathroom you don't want to tell someone, "Hey, I'm going to go to the bathroom to poop." It's the same thing as saying, "I'm going to go to the bathroom to take care of my period." Most people don't want to put those kinds of images in other people's heads, so they prefer to keep it to themselves and just handle it. It's not the period or the pooping that's embarrassing, it's the need to want to take care of such things yourself without displaying it to people who do the same exact thing.
1215116a 14
Oh yeah and to add to 23, people tend to blame everything on a period, like being moody or hungry. If people found out they might tease her for it or something. Some people can't handle that girls have periods and like to say stuff like, "Oh are you gonna start acting bitchy now?" because that happened to my friend once in 8th grade, and their are douchebags everywhere.
rocketiquette 20
4- I agree, I don't find it awk. If something like that happened to me I'd just own the moment and hold it up like baby simba and say something like "behold!!!!! The mystic plunger to halt the red tide!!!" ... the teacher would feel like an ass as I'd leave for the restroom.
pipinya 8
4 - why would you deem it an "FYL" If you thought it wasn't something to be ashamed of?
boarderlyne17 8
43 - Because it makes more sense than saying YDI? I know, I know... Crazy thought.
mashimarox 12
It's not anything to be ashamed of but don't you think it's just a little embarassing showing everyone what you're about to stick up your ******..? Lol
rocketiquette 20
Nope. It's like guys getting embarrassed with they drop a condom. But maybe I'm a little too harsh for other FMLers.... Personally I don't care what others think and I've never really been embarrassed about anything
rocketiquette 20
In addition, laughter kinda kills any embarrassment or awkwardness, might as well make a joke of the situation, hence why I've never hid because of embarrassment. Ydg'n?
charvisioku 22
83: Nah. Bodily functions are only 'embarrassing' because society (for some weird reason) thinks they should be. OP made it more embarrassing for herself by trying to be sneaky - that was bound to draw more attention than if she'd just pulled it out of her bag casually and asked to go to the toilet.
Sputnikspak 13
I was always a walking panic attack about that in high school because I had EXTREMELY heavy periods (to the point where I could soak through the most absorbent tampon and an overnight pad within a 50-minute class block, ended up with an iron deficiency, and now know that I have endometriosis which I'm having a second surgery for on Monday - well over fifteen years since I started having a period). If I'd had to show the giant diaper-sized pad and jumbo tampon to a teacher (especially male), I would have been a bundle of nerves. In my day though, kids didn't have cell phones at school. I think one girl had a pager. You'd be more likely to be accused of smoking if you wanted to leave class. I had several cool teachers, including my English teacher who said: 'You can just go to the bathroom if you have to go, I don't get why some teachers lord over bodily functions. Just try not to do it in a middle of a lecture and be quiet. If you're going to puke? Just go' I had a teacher in first grade who was absolutely crazy about not letting kids go to the bathroom. She's claim that because SHE had to wait for recess/lunch all the kids should be able to wait, too. First graders. She was a sadistic woman who I think got some kind of pleasure out of making kids wet their pants and be embarrassed. I know she got fired after she refused a kid, who then left the classroom to go anyway, and when he got back, the teacher screamed at him and sent him to the principal's office. ******* deserved it. Psycho. Either way, FYL, and shame on your teacher for not asking you DISCREETLY what you had in your sleeve.
Selphis 20
It's only natural... I hope the teacher feels like a dick now though!
patrickalamo 48
Or a ****
saIty 17
Look her straight in the eyes, shove that tampon up your nose, and remain eye contact. She'll never call you out like that again.
SiriusBlack97 17
That's a great idea
lilhellian 27
As good of an idea as it is... It'll bite her in the ass.. I guess coochie in this case.. Even more...
september1395 7
#61- Not if she has another tampon
Stardew 19
You didn't have to show the whole class, just flash it to your teacher and ask to go to the bathroom. I don't see the big deal, periods are just a part of life.
sdh715 6
Not a big deal, but if she's like me, she likes keeping things like that discreet. I wouldn't want to announce to the class that I had my period.
Brandi_Faith 34
True. I was thinking that she could have just walked up to the teacher and asked her if she could talk to her for a minute, or just whisper it in the teachers ear. Problem solved.
BlowinChronic 18
That I extremely awkward but I can kind of see where the teacher is coming from, she just doesn't want anybody leaving just to go text or something like that. But FYL because you had to show the whole class that. Also like the name OP haha.
mizuki123 8
Who leaves to go text? Lol
cameron194 9
There's plenty of ways to txt while your in class.. Teachers need to worry about kids taking bathroom breaks to go have a smoke.. At least that's what my bathroom breaks were mostly used for lol
TallMist 32
#80 "Oh you smoke? Do tell how cool you were." - Condescending Wonka
charvisioku 22
107: Don't think "being cool" was what they were actually getting at.
fsomelife 26
Should've asked her to answer it.
traveler_ghost 12
just say "lady problem", works on my teacher. Sometimes they really just need to mind their own business