Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, while helping a child through a tantrum, I was kicked and my hand broke. The bone is completely in half and fixing it will require plates, screws, and surgery along with months of recovery. Another day on the job. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, my doctor called and asked me when I could have my broken hand x-rayed again. I said the ER staff had told me it was a bad sprain over two weeks ago. I'm now in a full cast, and have to have my partially healed bones re-broken. There goes my summer. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
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Top comments
klol_fml 11
thats not very handy
minichu 4
I think the best solution is hold the bottle between your thighs while sitting down and then twist the cap. Seems like it might work. Good luck!
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Comments (202)
SwiftFaux 0
Don't try to hide the real problem. ... just use the other hand.
YayFlameWarz 9
Obviously the Op broke his dominant hand and opening a child proof bottle with your opposite hand is a bitch.
mrbattleman 10
come on now, just keep trying, you've got to figure out how to get it eventually. don't be an Adolf Quitler
THE_A_TEEN 28
Or a Quidaffi
The_creator_fml 2
Lol just a tip, if you go poo dont wipe with the wrong hand!
ButlerOfChaos 7
But, it's like... free toilet paper.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Have a friend or family member open it ONCE and then don't screw the lid on ever again.
Enslaved 38
This is true. She lives solo so she shouldn't have to worry about it falling into the wrong hands.
yamikou 0
can I give you a hand to open it?
candiicane 12
Just go back to the pharmacy and ask for the non-safety vial, they should have no issue in doing so. Hope the pain goes away soon!
unlucky90 4
Ydi for not being able to figure out how to open the bottle. Step 1: place bottle firmly between your knees. Step 2: use the hand that IS NOT broken to remove cap. Step 3: down the entire bottle of meds with a shitload of vodka bc you're an idiot.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Would have agreed but step 3 killed it for me. Now you sound like a dick.
becky_becks 0
I agree with #9. bam, problem solved.
aliadnan708 6
Use ur feet
piratepride77 0
I'll be waiting for your next FML when you finally get it open but in a moment of sheer intelligence close it again.