Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, while helping a child through a tantrum, I was kicked and my hand broke. The bone is completely in half and fixing it will require plates, screws, and surgery along with months of recovery. Another day on the job. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, my doctor called and asked me when I could have my broken hand x-rayed again. I said the ER staff had told me it was a bad sprain over two weeks ago. I'm now in a full cast, and have to have my partially healed bones re-broken. There goes my summer. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
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Top comments
klol_fml 11
thats not very handy
minichu 4
I think the best solution is hold the bottle between your thighs while sitting down and then twist the cap. Seems like it might work. Good luck!
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Comments (202)
Awesomeelliot 11
Well then how did you type this!? HA!
snoopyF 9
im sorry but i actually lol'd at this... its been said alot, but hold it between your thighs and use your free hand?...kind of obvious really
LaDeFreakinDa 4
Sounds like you need a handyman
ZXDriver 0
Hold the bottle in your teeth and use your hand to get the lid off.
iamyourgod 3
Let's see, you have teeth, thighs, and arm pits. All perfectly capable of holding and/or twisting. You could also ask a neighbor and if your really desperate just smash it. Stop being a moron.
tfair85 2
You can always ask the pharmacist for a non-child-proof bottle. Most carry them for requests.
SplitChris14 0
I did this all the time when I had a cast, have three fingers hold the bottom of it and use you other hand to apply pressure and unscrew(:
atlanta_lex 0
Hold it between your knees and open with one hand! Problem solved. ... note: works better if you have skinny knees
shenaniganry 3
I thought this said: 'I went to the hospital with a broken head', and then I thought my mistake was worthy of putting out onto the Internet so I'm doing that right now.
shenaniganry 3
I immediately regret this decision.
42billybob 5
Hold the bottle between your broken handed arm & torso, use free hand to twist cap. Hold the bottle between your legs, use free hand to twist cap. Hold the bottle in your free hand, use mouth to hold cap in place, twist off with hand motion. Place the bottle on a high friction surface (like a rubber placemat), use free hand to twist cap. Use a vice, or some other bracing tool. If all else fails get a zip-lock bag, take a set of pliers and hack open the bottle, take what you need and put the rest in the bag.