Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Today, my doctor finally prescribed me some medication for my arthritis. The cap was insanely well-secured, and my hands were too racked with pain to get it off. FML
Today, I struggled to open a childproof bottle, which, by the way, had the instructions printed on the lid. FML.
Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML
Today, while helping a child through a tantrum, I was kicked and my hand broke. The bone is completely in half and fixing it will require plates, screws, and surgery along with months of recovery. Another day on the job. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML
Today, my doctor called and asked me when I could have my broken hand x-rayed again. I said the ER staff had told me it was a bad sprain over two weeks ago. I'm now in a full cast, and have to have my partially healed bones re-broken. There goes my summer. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
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Top comments
klol_fml 11
thats not very handy
minichu 4
I think the best solution is hold the bottle between your thighs while sitting down and then twist the cap. Seems like it might work. Good luck!
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Comments (202)
DelilahLoyla 1
Hammer
davymac718 4
But you can write a FML?
cheeez4u 8
You are one whiny little bitch. I have severe arthritis and have had it since I was 15. Whenever I have a severe flare up, I just ask someone at the pharmacy to open the bottle for me. Its really not that complicated. Do you have neighbors? ASK SOMEONE?!?! I hate it when people complain about little bitty pains and here I am ******* dying of excruciating pain every day for the past 15 years. Broken bones is pussy shit. Try having a severe, uncurable disease. You suck, I hope you never get that bottle open. YDI.
Levitated 14
Doesn't give you the permition to be an asshole.. You have that disease since you were young, you learned to live with it. And Imo nobody deserves pain. Not you, not OP, nobody. You might have a lot of pain everyday. But still, OP maybe never had pain. And breaking your arm or whatever when you never endured a lot of pain. It hurts..
Lenho 26
Calm down, #106. #110 is right.
Okayitwasme 0
I think she wrote this once she got the lid off. Then thought ya that's an FML. I have an aunt with the same as you, cant do anything now. She is a heavy pot smoker, says it helps. Have you tried pot? I herd nothing else works! Feel for you. My aunt is a pretty awesome quiet old lady in her 60s (who smokes pot) =).
patacus 14
thats what teeth are for!
akurokuday 4
Those docs are dicks sometimes
lena_redhead 0
My boyfriend just burned his hand so he only has one good hand too.. he takes his bottles and stands it ip on the couch and presses and twists it with his good hand.. it works
Frenchface 0
Use your feet to hold it
brendanb33 5
Its not hard to open it, I had a cast on used the other hand to put top against my cheek and turned. It's really not complex.
mojobanks 8
I think he was referring to ************
trese666 0
Oh bullshit. Use your noggin push down on the lid with one hand while it's on a counter and turn. Simple.