Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML
Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML
Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
Today, after having surgery, I called my family to tell them I was out, safe, and on my way home. The first thing they asked was if they could "borrow" some of my pain meds. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Just put the TV on Jersey Shore. The stupidity will make you forget all about your pain.
EllyMo 15
I keep ferrets for this exact reason.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
lkrunner101 7
Fyl... Maybe an umbrella could get it out?
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'm pretty sure they were just using "everything" as a hyperbole.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Another dumb comment in the race to be first...
MikeDa1Da 14
15- it wasn't really that dumb.
StoryOfTheYear 15
19- Was it going to rain on the couch?
frankothetanko 0
this comment would be funny if it were a joke
LightningCactus 12
The comment would've been funny if it wasn't ridiculous.
thaCODgod 4
at comment 1, she said everything she NEEDED so why would she need an umbrella inside?
Peach3 1
I'm pretty sure getting up to find an umbrella would take quite a bit of pain and effort as well.
NanillaVipples 2
Why is an umbrella the first solution that comes to your mind?
okiidokii_fml 6
I doubt she would have an umbrella and I'm sure she had a neighbor to call...
okiidokii_fml 6
I doubt she would have an umbrella and I'm sure she had a neighbor to call...
uncleyuggles 0
That's just unfortunate.
IntoTheClouds 42
Ouch.
iamesauce 4
No... c-ouch.
mfazi456 7
This is why everyone should have Life Alert
BradPittiful 4
Maybe the dust bunnies will get it for OP? But, then again, you cant trust those little bastards.
graham11 14
71- all you have to do is stick the umbrella under the couch, press the button on the handle to rapidly expand the umbrella, and watch as the umbrella snaps and breaks into small pieces, poking holes in the couch.
123josie123 11
Oh the irony of life.
EllyMo 15
I keep ferrets for this exact reason.
IntoTheClouds 42
Monkeys all the way
fancyclown 9
I'm sure any small animal would do the job. Except cats. Lazy bastards.
thisisafunnyname 12
little asian boys in my baseme...yeah, ferrets are great
AndysFancy 6
I'd think a cat would just bat at it until it's clear into the next room!
shannonreneee 11
Cats are evil and would probably enjoy watching the OP struggle
AkshaySauce 5
This is why you need children. To make situations like these easily solved.
cyK0tek 0
Chao Mao! Ching Ming ping pong pao! Whut plan to take ova Amerrica agaiinn?? I forgot! xD
ZooMzy 9
32, I hope you realize that....whoever you're stereotyping probably doesn't type like that.
ZooMzy 9
32, I hope you realize that....whoever you're stereotyping probably doesn't type like that.
graham11 14
Start screaming for help.. A neighbor is bound to hear you! I'm sorry OP, hope you feel better!:)
mfazi456 7
OP is s.o.l.
graham11 14
Nah, there is still hope! I bet her husband is home from work now!!
cdogLuvs2golf 0
Or OP could get Life Alert.
DocBastard 40
Just put the TV on Jersey Shore. The stupidity will make you forget all about your pain.
GoW_Chick 15
True that show is mind numbing along with most "reality" tv shows
sadistmonkey 19
Or it might exacerbate the pain...
sugarandspice33 0
Wouldn't the neon orange color hurt her eyes?
rin142 12
I wonder how many wife-beaters/tank tops those boys own...
graham11 14
45- probably just one because they don't wash it.. Too busy gelling their hair!
xivoricbutterfly 25
Or it might make op kill herself
Snafuusmc 12
Sorry to hear. If only you had those long poles that had a lever on it and could snatch stuff! Well when I hurt my ankle I had a shark one it was cool. But sorry OP to hear that.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Your photo is bomb.
Snafuusmc 12
Haha thanks!
flockz 20
pills- "hurry this bitch is crippled!! roll friends roll!! i see shelter under the couch!!"
graham11 14
9- umm I'm pretty sure OP was just taking the pain medication for pain relief. Not to get high..
soccerguy2 11
can you call a neighbor?