Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
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Comments (176)
kemisha24131070 20
You should start jacking off with ur right hand
Tummy_tumble 0
Start with the right.
bflakes 1
same with me only I am left handed so that's why I use that hand
iloveTheMiz 0
First! :D
Brandon09044952 0
My boyfriend has the same situation XD
postoasties 0
mechanic's arm hahahaha
fightingkittens 39
My god, why do people have to always shout "NOT FML?" FMLs don't have to be about your dog and grandmother dying on the same day. They are just supposed to be amusing anecdotes about minor failures that occur in everyday life. Usually they also have some other meaning; in this case, the guy has such a hard time getting laid that he jacks off and is extremely strong because of it.
sorrowevicteon 9
What the hell!? This is just random!! I don't think that's an FML, I think it's a STFU...
carioki34 7
Uh oh :O
jc95sd 3
Yeah... But seriously that's not a FML that just a no shit