Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML
Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
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Top comments
Nyxen 0
That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.
wollzilla 0
hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.
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Comments (176)
gothymama 0
LMAO, funny, but not an FML. Who cares? Everyone jacks off and most people use one hand over the other when they do it!
gothymama 0
Seriously, #18, I'm married and pregnant, therefore can obviously get laid, and yet I **********.
alice77_fml 0
HA! sex can wait...**********! :)
glock17wielder 0
...and this is a FML how?
Panicattackx5 0
-_-;;
duckpsy 2
Haha, exactly opposite for me. I'm left handed, but my right arm is my action arm. ; )
zoo_fml 0
# 19, you spelt THEIR wrong. nice.
MarkO_fml 0
I once knew a guy who would sit on his arm until his hand became numb. He said it felt like someone else was giving him a handjob. I guess that would work if you were quick enough to finish before the feeling came back.
cheerleader1313 0
#100..... you seriously dont know what jack off means?? what are you like 5 years old? and this isnt really an FML, its kinda just like HAHA thats funny...
idratherbinsh 0
um. this really isn't an FML