Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, after a 3-day induced delivery for my twins, and after getting stitches down there, I woke up to boobs that are the size of footballs, and still no milk coming out. The pain of chopping them off at this point would be more bearable. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML
Today, I'm on a pill that "may cause breast tenderness". My 32E breasts took that to mean swell up a size, become heavy as lead, be so sore I can't move without a bra on, and stiffen my neck and back muscles so badly I thought I had an ear infection. This will last "a few weeks to months". FML
Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
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Top comments
boxter57 3
Will your baby suck on your armpit?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Wow three boobs? The guys must love you >;)
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Comments (247)
MuziKMajoR 5
BONER!
malfoyfreak 3
Sexy.
DocBastard 40
No, you have two breasts and essentially no brain. What you're feeling is called the axillary tail of Spence, and it's NORMAL. All women have it to some degree. It is a normal part of your normal breast. To have a third breast you'd have to have a third (supernumerary) nipple, which you don't. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're normal. Dumb, but normal.
KiddNYC1O 22
Doc, u mad bro?? Tell that to her gyn... LOL
DocBastard 40
Ciarbear, yes it IS normal. Go to medical school, take courses on anatomy and physiology, and then you can consider yourself qualified to say what is and isn't normal. KiddNYC, "umad bro?" is what imbeciles with nothing more clever to say say. As for my tone, my name is DocBastard, not DocNiceToIdiots.
KiddNYC1O 22
Touché.
Ur1Temptazian 0
Absolutely correct!!!!
YayFlameWarz 9
Oh Doc how I love your comments.
DrewsFML 8
Lol doctors are always such condescending bastards. Oh how special they think they are! Funny!
DocBastard 40
DrewsFML, we are only condescending to idiots who fancy themselves doctors because they googled something and now think they know shit. Or people who get misinformation from someone who is equally clueless as they.
ohmandapants 17
197- he doesn't have to be pregnant. He's a DOCTOR. Do you expect your doctor to have gone through everything that you have? That's ridiculous.
sk8rgirljj 0
I'm pretty sure none of us actually know if it is a boob or not, did you see a pic of it? No, so we probably won't ever know cause you don't have the possible normal lump or possible third boob. Maybe there is a nip there and the op just didn't say so, possibilities
sk8rgirljj 0
Also no bitching at me I'm just saying that, can we really be 100% sure If we didn't see it ourselves?
cul8r 4
Don't worry, you're normal. Research the "milk line" in mammals.
DocBastard 40
You are correct. Primary care doctors, gynecologists, and surgeons all are qualified to do a breast exam.
justcallmeajay 5
Why did you go to the gynecologist to get a bump under your armpit looked at??
ohmandapants 17
Because gynecology is the study of women and their diseases and OP is a woman?
perdix 31
You're going to need to get a nipple installed there and have some weirdo suckle your armpit teat. Where can I send my application?
whited666 0
Always the best comments.
BoundnGagged 0
I think you might need to go to a different gynecologist...because that Doogie Howser you're going to is an idiot.
rattusrattus 19
I'm sure you have a fantastic career as a sci-fi hooker ahead of you.
Burr520 3
My kinda fetish. ; )