Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML
Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML
Today, my dad threatened to hit me if I didn't tell him what I had in my homework. He thinks I won't keep secrets from him this way. There's a reason I kept secrets in the first place. FML
Today, I had to go cap in hand to my father-in-law to ask for a loan so I could pay the mortgage, so now he thinks I’m a useless bum who can’t support my family. The truth is it was his daughter the gambler who wasted all our savings, but I can’t bring myself to upset him by telling him the truth. FML
Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML
Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, on my way to see my therapist, my father told me to lie to her and tell her that I'm happy so he wouldn't have to drive me there anymore. FML
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Top comments
JoeGrant 12
You should just tell him. Deal with the consequences like a man.
SaxophoneHero 12
Maybe he will accept a new born child in exchange for the fifty dollars..?
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Comments (141)
randm_dude 9
Damn, OP the fact you knocked up your GF shows you have some balls, now just man up. You will need to tell your dad about that eventually anyway.
gAt_d 26
Man the **** up! He's not going to kill you!
Chellybelly92 14
If you're not man enough to stand up to your father you're not man enough to be having sex. YDI. I hope you and your girlfriend figure this out responsibly.
Kelishas 9
You are going to have to tell him eventually...and now you're $50 poorer when you do.
Risho96 10
You know what the only honorable thing to do is, right? That's right. Ya gotta marry her now. Hope you like her.
ViviMage 40
I agree on marriage, I don't want a kid before marriage and end up a single mom. But at least child support payments!! Be a dad for the kid!
iwadasn 33
Why would you think lying about it was a good idea? He's going to find out eventually, and now he'll be even madder because you lied about it the first time. Man up and face the consequences of your actions.
aniluapss 9
Well done, not like he won't notice eventually...
zsshamalama 11
should have used protection, dumb shit.
kate3101 15
If you're old enough to be having sex, you should be mature enough to have an adult conversation. I know it's scary, but this is one talk you can't really put off.
SkyBlueCloud 21
You should have told him. He's going to be even more disappointed when he finds out.