Today, and every day I go out in public, I apparently have a sign on my back saying, “If you’re a creepy old man, please harass and stare at me.” The best part? No one my own age has ever spared me even a second look. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that me wearing a mask will not stop creepy old men from telling me to smile. FML
Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So, it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend’s friends secretly make fun of me. They call me “grandpa” and a “massive creep.” They’re in their 20s. My girlfriend is 22 and I’m 48. Apparently, dating a consenting legal adult is considered “creepy.” FML
Today, the people in my class wondered why I seem to avoid them. The same people who call me a creep and hide when they see me in public because of my disability. FML
Today, a creep called me out in the street and asked me why I was in that part of that street, because he "knows " I live in another part of the street, and he found it "odd" that I was there. He was smiling all that time too. FML
Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I was at work. I'm a sign spinner. Lots of other employees shares stories of how they have been flashed by 18 year old hot chicks as they drive by. I got flashed by a 45 year old, 300lbs lady. FML
Today, man do I feel old. For the first time ever, a teen thug with more acne spots than brain cells told me to, “Piss off grandad.” Grandad? Guess I look older than I feel. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
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Top comments
Razath 17
Going by the current (online) climate and adding a dash or two of hyperbole? Creepy old dudes doesn't give a crap about being cancelled online so they stare as much as they want and can, while younger guys are so scared of losing their online clout they barely dare glance at a woman these days. You could always go up to the creepies and (loudly) ask if they need a bib for their drooling or if they've just escaped from their nursing home and need someone to call their caretaker.
RichardPencil 32
Date creepy old men, then dudes your age will get jealous and notice you. In the meantime, the creepy dudes will buy you lots of cool shit and require minimal sex.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Date creepy old men, then dudes your age will get jealous and notice you. In the meantime, the creepy dudes will buy you lots of cool shit and require minimal sex.
Razath 17
Going by the current (online) climate and adding a dash or two of hyperbole? Creepy old dudes doesn't give a crap about being cancelled online so they stare as much as they want and can, while younger guys are so scared of losing their online clout they barely dare glance at a woman these days. You could always go up to the creepies and (loudly) ask if they need a bib for their drooling or if they've just escaped from their nursing home and need someone to call their caretaker.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Stop wearing cardigans and glasses on a chain perhaps?
Yudith 28
I was juuuust about to suggest that Creepmagnet changes her look.
Evolving_Squid 15
It's interesting that you spend so much time monitoring creepy old men.