Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?
kraykray_fml 0
duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...
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Comments (364)
vatermelonpower 0
NO SHIT RETARD
lol32360 0
hmm dont use a sharp kinfe???
sincerely331 0
YDI for not being careful. I always lick the penut butter off my knife & I never cut my tongue before.
X_o_X_ocutie 0
I lick the knives too after making PB&Js but I use butterknives so it won't cut Moi's beautiful tounge. Or maybe I got so much swag so my tounge is like cut resistant lol
nullify1337 0
op wtf were you using a pairing knife to spread pb and jelly for ydi
jbcrazy 6
that was stupid of you. next time think things through a little more before you do dumb stuff like that lol :)
callmesillyxxx 1
uhh' its a knife
wr3xxuf 0
really? I never knew that a knife could cut anything.
barretke 0
you dumb ass
Torvus 4
Why the **** would you think 'Oh, this is safe to lick, a knife would never cut me.' YDI. Don't have children.