Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?
kraykray_fml 0
duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...
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Comments (364)
jetex97 1
Wow. Apparently more than half of the people who commented on this either don't know what a butter knife is (or w/e you want to call it) or they use butcher knives to make a PB&J sandwich. I hope most of you at least attempt to make an effort to avoid kitchens.
alexandra1313 0
Umm . . . Yeah? They do tend to cut stuff? Sense that's what their made for?
bbernhardt 0
dude you freakin retarted but i do the same thing all the time haha
BabyPrada 0
How Hard Did Yuee Lick Tha Damn Knife[?] Likee Its Ah Knife Its MADE To Cut Things . Smart Onee .
jt7893 0
you are a ******* retard
janes1231234 0
I'm no longer gonna lick that knife anymore
toast1b 0
I did the same thing but with spegetti sauce pot. It was hot
mistaken4u 12
Really smart, thought knives were supposed to cut.
smore112 0
omg ive done that before. it really sucks.
beetman5 4
this is badly worded. it just looks stupid.