Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?
kraykray_fml 0
duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...
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Comments (364)
nomforlife 0
Karma sucks?
SovietRei 5
I hope you dumbasses realise he was probably using a butter knife...
redhedsaysrawr 18
so what? Butter knives can cut people just as well as a regular one can... my mother knew someone who cut their finger off with a butter knife by mistake...
cookiegrl 0
what makes you think it wouldnt??? seriously...
L_Lovegood 19
OMG, you complete idiot. Knives are made to cut things. And why on earth did you use a sharp one? It's not like peanutbutter is rockhard...
rachilio 26
No ******* Way! Duh.
eatsleepjb 8
Turns out a knife can and will cut your tounge?..it's a knife! It's purpose is to cut things! What did you think it was going to do?
eatsleepjb 8
Op could do that...but they seem kind of stupid, so maybe they should just stick to not licking knives at all
jace172 4
What!?!? Since when do knifes cut things
strokesie 23
Evil Dead flashback.
Vaati_fml 20
It could be a butter knife.