Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML
Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
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Top comments
JesseJaymz 0
you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?
kraykray_fml 0
duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...
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Comments (364)
SuperNinjaa 0
ydi for forgetting how sharp knifes are. next time... USE A SPOON
codymaxey033 0
I never seem to have that problem...you can even lick a steak knife and not slice your tongue if your careful enough..
NewSlang 0
Oh, Bobby. That's not good. FYL because you now have a double tongue, but YDI because you should've know better.
amy12123 0
YDI..dumbass
kiss_1214 17
What does YDI mean??
elizanena9 0
Well, no der... still sucks though. ouch.
fakeaccountX 6
Why weren't you more careful? I do it all the time and don't cut myself, just don't lick the sharp part of the knife dummy
zek800 0
yet kinda dumb!
wazzupworld 0
YDI
lookslikemohamme 0
Do you peoplenot use butter knives?? WTF?!
5t3ff1k4h 47
Hey, look on the bright side. At least you didn't cut yourself with a spoon... I know a guy that did that. But OP, YDI. If you didn't think it could cut you, obviously someone's told you it can. Better heed their advice next time, yes?