Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So you play a woodwind?
zachherbert 10
"That's one weird sounding tuba..."
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Comments (129)
The_F3rris 11
Couldnt you let it out slowly so it isnt so loud? YDI
lauraahope 0
Hahhahahahahaa omg this is the best :')
KingCeltic77 18
Backside trumpet player?
greenie213 23
You need to perfect the art of the stealth fart. Like me. I got it down baby.
titzenpitzer 9
just like it go nice and slow and warn your surroundings. If people get annoyed f them you're a human
hockeyoceancity 13
Maybe... Or maybe you are all saying maybe too much... Maybe... Maybe not. Maybe you are all correct in saying maybe and maybe i'm wrong, but maybe i'm right and maybe you're wrong? Maybe FML stands for an unknown code to unlock the true meaning of life? Maybe there is no meaning of life? Maybe this is a waste of a comment... No wait, yes, yes it is defiently a waste of a comment. I am sorry.
MexicanGinger 5
Oh man that sucks OP. I hope nobody you knew was there. That'd be a real bummer
perdix 31
I wonder how they wrote that in the score. What's the symbol for fartissimo?
skyeyez9 25
A little green cloud
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Haven't you learned from previous FMLs? Whenever you try to fart in a loud setting, every noise stops as soon as you let it out! =P
gottageek 17
Instead of trying to sneak it in, you should have snuck out, it's more than just an audible offense...