Today, at school, I wore a back brace because I have fractured vertebrae. During first period, a girl tapped me on the back to ask me a question. It made a "knocking on wood" sound. She looked at me like I was a freak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML
Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML
Today, it's my first day of high school. It's also my first day of a three-day in-school suspension. The reason? I sat next to a girl and she immediately got up and told the teacher that she didn't "feel safe". FML
Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
Today, I was giving a tour for parents who wanted to send their kids to our school. One of the parents had a kid on crutches with what appeared to be a broken leg, so I asked him how he broke it. He replied, "I was born like this." FML
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Top comments
Liamj774 36
You should've asked her "Wood you knot?" That'll get her to shut up
Tripartita 45
Might as well make the most of it and loudly state in a monotone voice, "USER #192088X HAS LAUNCHED REQUEST FOR A QUERY."
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Comments (35)
Liamj774 36
You should've asked her "Wood you knot?" That'll get her to shut up
UserError94 18
I don't think that would solve the root of the problem. OP should branch out and find new ways to make her leaf.
Atomic_Mushroom 14
Somebody thumbs'd you down but that made me chuckle so, good for you!
dolphinlvr7 24
Why not just explain?
Lalala579121 28
Because I don't think OP can time travel to explain to her before she tapped him on the back
yerawizardlizzy 27
Can they really not explain after the fact??
Phantomsnake 10
Explain how some people are made of wood.
philipino 24
"my nose also grows when I lie"
Lalala579121 28
Explaining after the fact wouldn't have prevented the person from giving them a look.
Tripartita 45
Might as well make the most of it and loudly state in a monotone voice, "USER #192088X HAS LAUNCHED REQUEST FOR A QUERY."
BlackHawkSavior 28
Groot?
The_Potato_Lord 15
Knock her on the head and look at her like a freak.
Someone1111 22
I love this comment so much
Dodge4x4Ram 46
Tell people your related to Tony Stark
LostInTheZone11 29
What an ignorant fool she is. I use to wear one for back problems as a kid. Had a hard plastic shell with foam inside. A kid punched me the stomach when we got off the bus stop the one day. He went up our street crying
Ipeh 20
How could she have known?
mmoss55 2
Just show the girl the back brace
sturschaedel 27
Take her aside and tell her you are a superhero wearing you exoskeleton suit underneath your clothes, and that she can't tell anyone because it might get her in danger if your arch enemy finds out she knows you.
sempisaviour 17
Should have told her what that was.