Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So you play a woodwind?
zachherbert 10
"That's one weird sounding tuba..."
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Comments (129)
zandalee 20
I bet there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Hilarious! Sounds like my husband.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Classical timing you got there.
perdix 31
Next time they do Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture," you can volunteer to do the cannon part ;)
dewdotcom 1
Fart in key next time
make_me_smile 4
Fart ON key next time*
Clamcreepy 7
You should've at least tried to make it apart of the dramatic sound like it was a punch line or in this case a fart line
dsl1123 8
Just what is your definition of a "Dramatic Fart" ?
zandalee 20
Very loud and sudden. Very hot and wet. Very runny and stinky. Take your pick.
Sooner5oh 3
Always wrong timing!
nela25 23
A lot of people on this website just have really bad timing :P
kicker42 0
you are correct nothing but bad timing and bad judgement.
abouttosleep 5
And smell to your nose.
niall92 6
"Since when did Mozart write for solo contrabass trombone?"