Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, I was at a local talent show and during a piano performance I had to go to the bathroom. I sang along in the bathroom but was unaware how loud I was until I walked out and everyone started applauding me while the pianist was still playing. FML
Today, I was performing in an orchestra concert. My stand partner and I commented on people in the audience the whole time, saying how fat they were, etc. Towards the end of the concert, I realized we were sitting right by a microphone, and the whole audience could hear us. FML
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So you play a woodwind?
zachherbert 10
"That's one weird sounding tuba..."
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Comments (129)
perdix 31
My theory is that most people who go to classical concerts don't really like it, but they feel they have to be there to be "cultured." For that majority, your fart was the highlight of their evening! If they revealed their true selves, you would have gotten a standing ovation.
DocBastard 40
Tsk tsk, my friend. Have you ever heard Dvorak's New World Symphony played live? It is quite spectacular. There's a very good reason it's one of the famous pieces of music ever written.
perdix 31
Well, no, I have not, but I did see Katy Perry last year. She had spinning nipples. Does anyone in the entire orchestra have spinning nipples? No? Then, it's Pop, 1; Classical, 0. :D
wetFeline 3
Ohh doc got SHUT THE **** DOWN
DocBastard 40
Yes wetFeline, I'm quite shamed that perdix made a joke comparing Dvorak to Katy Perry. Alas! O woe is me! Perdix, I am undone!
make_me_smile 4
I can't believe 2 of the most commonly known commenters on this site are against each other (DocBastard and Perdix)
ALpein 0
64 Really? I thought it was xXxNarUto.FanBO1xXx and Sharon.
BunchieRules 31
Perdix - As you said earlier, 1812 Overture uses real cannons for the dramatic part. And, as we all know from numerous pirate stereotypes, cannons are pretty epic. Does that even the score?
meganmkopp 3
That comment literally just made my day. XD
kicker42 0
notice the word cult in cultured. it's all one big ******* plan if you ask me
niall92 6
#46 - some people think there is more to life than spinning nipples
ScaughtieHolden 11
Some people probably appreciated your timing. People with a sense of humor. :]
loserman67 36
OP in their head: "I really have to let one rip, I'll wait for a crescendo, no one will hear." OP" "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTT" Man behind OP: "I don't remember Chopin's music stinking this badly." Wife behind OP: "I know, and the brass section sounds really flat." Man behind OP: "Let's get out of here, this is terrible." Wife behind OP: "Yeah, besides I suddenly have a craving for hard boiled eggs."
False_Stupidity 42
Funny wish I were their
hockeyoceancity 13
True stupidity.
AbeFrohman 10
*there
KiddNYC1O 22
35- Nope. He meant to say "their theatre usher."
1030295 6
....and the crowd goes wild!
hinchkongfang 0
9, Maybe you're an idiot...
Furytalon 14
I don't get the ydi's if he held it in the sulfur (makes your fart stink) would eventually build up and cause problems, or even death.
AlexBblah 10
Damn!! **** it you should of said "that's not the best part ;)" xD act cool next time it's NORMAL!
luvdolphin 9
Don't worry about it, I would have done the same thing ^^
xStaciexLynnx 15
Maybe you're an asshole.