Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
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Top comments
djaeb2001 3
u must be hot!!!!!
cookiesofchaos 0
pics or... nevermind.
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Comments (336)
xavierxavierx 0
damn just give him a hand
boopityboppity 11
Yeah, nice! How very creative, original, and hilarious you are! Nobody's ever said anything remotely close to that!
Strafeh 9
* Baffled Face *
cabbitt 0
That's spectacular. Thanks for the laugh.
ericamari3x 0
Probably thought you were a fellow gorilla. haha
thekingofkings1 0
that's ******* awesome
MacdaddyMaddy 0
pahahaha Now I love zoos!
kendra19977 0
damn that's sexy u should have snuck in and gave him a bj and had some sex
teencountryboy97 0
typical 12-13 year old... kids these days :/
remy3106 10
lol wow I didn't think monkeys could do that!! that's cooll
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Lots of animals **********. Primates' hands just make it easier.
remy3106 10
ohhh
HomeAl0ne 20
Yeah, my gf and I watched a monkey ********** once. It just wandered over the roof top next to our hotel in India, sat down, jacked himself off, sniffed at the cum then wandered away. The only thing missing was a copy of Playmonkey magazine.
Evan071 0
this fml would probally be way more funnier if OP was a male, but still, it's still really funny
kendra19977 0
damn that's sexy u should have snuck in and gave him a bj and had some sex
FirstBornUnicorn 0
Did he show you his monkey?