Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Moving on
Today, I went to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her her stuff back. We broke up earlier this week after a two year relationship, and I'd hoped she would've realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I rang the doorbell and her new boyfriend opened the door. FML
Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML
Oh no, oh no no no
Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that's for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago were inside. After they left, the "For Rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML
Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend. She dumped me because she was moving to Wyoming. I guess Wyoming is code for my friend's apartment. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Dodge
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Never cross the streams
Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
Top comments
suckmorethanme 0
i hate when women do this to soldiers. you knew what was expected of you and you still married/dated one and caused trouble with other guys. what bitches. /grew up in military town, will NEVER understand this
k1w1 0
She could at least have had the consideration to not **** her boyfriend while he was in the apartment.
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Comments (89)
maundy 0
poorly worded
MR_OHCRAP 0
All of the FMLs are poorly worded. Also, not to mention fake aswell. OP: Well, if you pay for the bed, you do kinda pay for the bed... Why? Did you have to pay more cause they spoiled the sheets?
youreanidiot 0
#39: There are a lot of people in the military that are smarter than you are. I can guarantee that I am one of them Anyway, why didn't you just kick the f***ers a$$?
RubixMonkey 0
I don't think he meant people in the army were stupid but that OP was stupid and had no other option but being a soldier. Actually you can't justify what he said, it comes out sounding rude. Anyways... OP you broke up with her and have been in Iraq, did you think she would wait when you set her free? Also... I was not sure what the last part of your FML was. It sounded like she was at the apartment you guys had originally bought and ******* the guy she is dating. You aren't her boyfriend, you no longer pay for the apartment, and though you bought the bed when you break up with someone they do not have to give the gifts back. Grow some.
kukopia 0
I agree w/ #39. I was in the Air Force. I worked and lived w/ grunts and jar-heads. Most of them are there for a handful of pretty simple reasons. The OP is a douche for getting an apt for 'them' the first day back. It's not like they 'used up' the apt or the bed. Time to put on your 'big girl panties' and get over her. Go back to school. Your sentance structure is attrocious, er... really bad. Gonna really hurt your employment options.
lovejamienicole 0
why dont you try having a little bit of respect for the people who put their life on the line so you can make idiotic comments like that.
NoIsoldeForTris 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Y dont you suck a giant **** for endorsing a war that u have know idea what its about c===========3
crimson_89 0
and you sir can suck a giant **** for talking shit to someone who protects the freedoms you so take for granted.
AsAlwaysAndrew 0
This is why I live in a cardboard box.
lem0n_fml 0
i love you.
PandaPandaPandaX 0
Dude, you broke up. You didn't expect her to stay single did you?
k1w1 0
She could at least have had the consideration to not **** her boyfriend while he was in the apartment.
Harrywhat 0
Wow..that sucks.
suckmorethanme 0
i hate when women do this to soldiers. you knew what was expected of you and you still married/dated one and caused trouble with other guys. what bitches. /grew up in military town, will NEVER understand this
syetlana 0
Totally agree with you here. My current boyfriend is a soldier and his last girlfriend cheated on him the entire time he was deployed. I don't get it at all.
metonymy 0
The FML doesn't say that she cheated on him or anything, though, just that they broke up and she has a new boyfriend now. And we're not told why they broke up, so it might not necessarily be because he was in Iraq.
L4m3r 3
Women tend to be fickle and somewhat evil... and they don't like being lonely, either. The fact that military men get screwed over is definitely sad, but not really surprising.
DrunkenValor 0
LOL? 'Women tend to be fickle and somewhat evil.' Clearly you're a douche, women are no less evil then us men - At least women have the balls to say "Yeah, this won't work because I don't like long distance." I bet half of you guys would stay with a deployed woman and **** around with random chicks until she got back. :P
pyroanarchist23 0
your trying to disprove a broad generalization, by making an even worse one, wow, you are an idiot
estrangedrain 0
oh like guys in the military dont cheat on their wives...please.
HeyItsWill12 0
#68 I don't know but do think they would really have a lot of time to cheat? and with whom? not to stereotype but Women in the military are generally tough as **** whether she works on the computers or on some special tactical unit. I would probably not cheat on my girlfriend with a girl that could pump my eye shut. Just saying I can't see military men cheating when deployed especially as much as hardcore haircuts at the clubs..
brandnewkey 14
Not all military guys are in the middle east...I dated someone that went to guam...massage parlors were very popular single or not. Guys get just as lonely and horny as girls.
COUR7NEY 0
That was confusing.
MLSxxox 3
ouch... that sucks... lol #2
smallflower_fml 1
bad day
hanic101 0
Find a new place or kick her out.
ducktoy 4
YDI for going to Iraq.
evilmonkeysrock 0
**** you fag