Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
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Top comments
piscesMMAguy_92 0
that musta been one shitty conversation
silvershadow13 3
you shouldve thrown some used tp over the wall to shut him up
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Comments (114)
Cblankenship_fml 0
Hahahaha ur life sucks
MDFang 0
Why? At least he talked to a nice person :3
ShadowPunkChick 1
Thank you for saying something meaningful instead of trying to make it known that you were the first to comment!
justsayfuck 5
#11, 'something meaningful', really? How was that comment meaningful to you? It's better than 'first' I guess, but meaningful? Naah.
pinkpillowz 0
HAhaha. once my friend thought that I was in the stall next to her and she was talking and then she came out and found out it was her teacher! ;)
2muchshyt 0
how does that suck? I don't get it, this is an embarrassing moment, but not a FML
KiddNYC1O 22
should've had a stand off like Peter griffin and michael Moore
ily1210 10
atleast he was friendly :)
Tasanasanta 0
16-People who try to get the first generally have comments such as "FYL", "YDI" or (my personal favorite) "Hahahaha" OP-When you're sittin' on the can and talking to another man, diarrhea *clap clap* diarrhea!
doorfloor 0
should've played battleship with him.
shaneac 0
#16, he was being sarcastic. it's harder to tell if someone is sarcastic when they type it.
JakeTheGr8 0
28 is a WIN.
justsayfuck 5
#50, I hadn't looked at it that way yet. But if that is the case, which would actually make more sense, than it seems I agree with her anyway. Yes, it can be hard to get sarcasm across in writings.
KaarmaaBiitchzz 0
agree with 51 that 28 is a WIN!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
s
KingDingALing 9
This isn't an fml. **** you, OP.
trisha101 0
ydi for shopping at walmart
crimsongetsu 0
34..u are soo badass for liking halo 3.. I can see ur poster bak ther
nabee26 15
Hahahahaha that's so funny and weird!! Awkward! Lol
silvershadow13 3
you shouldve thrown some used tp over the wall to shut him up
justsayfuck 5
That comment is seriously disturbing.
Euphoric_boner 0
I mean have the runs
RPattzs_gurl 0
2 made me LMFAO! WIN
AjaxF 0
LMAO ha ha ha. . .now that is some funny shit!
rinasx 0
awkward.
ShadowPunkChick 1
It's only a FML if you talked back, but then again YDI if you did..
Saritasmiles 0
I don't know how to respond to this.
Tasanasanta 0
And that is totally why you decided to comment? You obviously have something to say if you said something.
Jacckay 3
xD This is funny.
Stupified 0
Op that shit's one shitty shituation, but YDI for ******** in public. Oh shit!
acccccccc 1
shit man! afp is so shitty!
shakethat 10
this is the funniest thing I've read in awhile. fyl
lovesteph3523 0
lmfao
bmexoxo98 0
no **** or anything! but ur gorgeous ! hahah
ChampionKO 6
u ain't bad either ^^
ILovesMahBridge 0
Sorry champion, they're both google pics.
sammehsaurus 0
Who cares if they're google pics? Whoever the really are, they're gorgeous. Haha.
ILovesMahBridge 0
True. On an unrelated note, the ladies love my tail. They say it's the most attractive part of me. *walks away grumbling about never finding socks that won't rip.
auntiemomma 0
good for you