Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
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Top comments
ke59100 1
could be worse, he could have what can I get you two ladies?
maskedman 9
At least if your girlfriend cries she can soak the tears up with her mustache.
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Comments (174)
Kuuroneko17 2
I read this as "Today, I went to eat out my girlfriend..." I can say I was a little concerned at first.
pennies_lane 6
awww good on you op for having the heart to date an ugly shim! :p
iheartglasses 0
78, She could still put a cute bow, barette, clip, whatever in her hair, or maybe styled it a little more feminine? Length no longer matters in a cut, the STYLE does though.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Traitor. But seriously, I hate fussing with doodads in my hair. Well, except for hats. I'm a sucker for hats. You can style a short cut to look feminine without bows and such. The cut makes all the difference.
JustJess666 0
wow that's ****** up. I'm not the prettiest girl but when I wear my shirt that says "ask your girl what my dick tastes like" no one thinks I really have a dick. maybe she should take a long look in the mirror. cuz that's not good if she looks like a man. also you should just come out of the closet as a fag cuz there is an underlining problem here. you really like men not chicks.
minif 0
how the hell is that a FYL ? FHL! she's the one who was thought to be a man.
nnnnas 0
Lmfao ! Hilarious !!
dropdeaddani 0
Haha, same thing happened with me and my ex, only they thought he was a girl. FYL though, OP :/
TheBananaTheif 0
Your girlfriend's name wouldn't happen to be Justin Bieber, would it?
msapp2 0
its ok. for a long time wen me and my gf went out to eat the waitress would say can i help you ladies? i had an fro. it happened more then once
JpasDa1 2
OMG OP!! Your girlfriend is a bull dyke and this is obviously your FML because your the only on who couldn't tell. hahahaha