Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
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Top comments
ke59100 1
could be worse, he could have what can I get you two ladies?
maskedman 9
At least if your girlfriend cries she can soak the tears up with her mustache.
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Comments (174)
nerdsgetmehot 23
F HER life, not your life.
vettle 6
I don't know any woman nor have I seen one that looked so much like a man that I would seriously consider it enough to make a statement about it!
cowsgomooatyou 8
Did you even consider that it COULD have been a mistake? Actually, I'm pretty sure it wasn't.
cariley 0
Sounds more like that is and fml moment for ur gf not you
Robothing10 0
hahahahahaha. I would love to see this in person from the table next to you OP. sry it happened, but there are things in life that are just hard not to laugh at.
iGreen_Day 0
**** your life? self centred are we op?
destonerock 0
who has more facial hair?
sk3l370n 0
"Thank you for offering but I prefer ladies"
wDeemish 0
Maybe he doesn't know English O.O
frozzenhart 0
I think he meant ' what can u get for you both , gentleman ? '