Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out to eat at a diner where my friend works. My friend was our waiter but too busy to talk much. He texted me after we'd left to tell me that my girlfriend had slipped him her number. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, at the restaurant where I work, I served a table of 4 middle-age women. Before greeting the table, I was deciding between saying "Can I get you anything to drink?" and "Can I start you off with something?" My actual greeting? "Can I get you ladies off?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and I told the waiter I'd have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, "Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
Today, I asked a table at a restaurant if there's anything I could get out of their way and they replied, "Yeah, you." FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went out to dinner. The waiter was pretty cute. He greets us, "Hi my name is... (long pause) Jordan." Thinking he was flirting, I quickly smart back, "Are you confused?" He says, "No actually, I have a stutter." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ke59100 1
could be worse, he could have what can I get you two ladies?
maskedman 9
At least if your girlfriend cries she can soak the tears up with her mustache.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (174)
iheartglasses 0
It could have been an honest mistake on the waiters part. I've called clearly female people, sir before because I was rushed and scatter brained. OR, your chick really does look masculine. In which case she hopefully took the waiters mistake to mind and looked at herself..A little makeup and a pretty hair cut work wonders :)
RedPillSucks 33
She may just have short hair. A lot of people make this mistake because this society seems to think girls must have long flowing hair.
maskedman 9
So his girlfriend is beautiful on the inside and handsome on the outside.
maphineRAWRS 10
I like this comment :)
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
hehe, he thought ur girl friend was a guy...
Zodiak213 0
Don't worry OP, I get that occasionally too.
stevenmx86 8
She probably deserved it.. Now a days too many women try to prove some kind of point by cutting their hair short without realizing that it just makes them look like a man.. Nothing more..
Sinkhole 26
Maybe she just likes having her hair short... shocking, right? Maybe you didn't know it, but we have the right to choose having our hair short based only on the fact that we like it like that!
NettotWSecnarf 0
Or we cut our hair because it's so much easier to manage than long hair and uses less shampoo. Or because it's too hot in the summer for long hair. Or maybe she's a swimmer or a gymnist and long hair would get in the way and she has a small chest or a strong build from those.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
You mean to tell me that EVERY girl with a sassy short haircut chose it as a statement of rebellion against the media's unrealistic presentation of cascading waterfalls of luxurious hair as epitome of feminine grace, and all that is womanly and beautiful? You're saying EVERY short-tressed woman chose to chop off her crowning glory to not only say, "No, media, hair is not the embodiment of feminine sexual power; I rely on my inner sensuality to obtain a robust and enthusiastic sexual partner, who can pleasure me far better than any supposedly ******-inducing shampoo. 'Washing my hair' will no longer be a manipulative way for me to get time to myself; I have every right to assert the value of my independence by demanding it for its sake alone,"; but ALSO chose a short cut that emphasizes her facial features, thereby emphasizing her message of, "I have no reason to hide my face behind false signifiers of worth. I am a strong, unique individual, equally as worthy as any man. Look at my eyes, media-- I see through your materialistic lies! Look at my nose-- I smell your shallow bullshit! Here's my mouth! I will NOT shut up and accept this role you're forcing on me quietly ANY LONGER!"? They ALL thought that?! *sniff* And to think, my mommy told me I was special.
DocBastard 40
Jane...will you marry me?
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Hmm, a polyandrous marriage *would* be a powerful socio-political statement of feminine equality... Tell you what. If you can convince Mr. Doe that you'd make a good brother-husband, I will. But you've gotta pay for the bed size upgrade, and bring your own whiskey. ;)
Glenn_Coco 0
Wow Jane you rock girl. You're an idiot to have said that. A girl cuts her hair for many other reasons, but not that one. Epic Fail on U!
Tinasia 0
I know how she feels... in elementary and middle school. But not anymore :)
klovey123 0
why is it your fml?
NightMarePuppy 0
yup
Ricky_Ford 0
Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder lol
kenjiisown 1
lol Awesome!