Today, I went out with my mom to a restaurant. We were sitting down to eat, and a waitress walks over to our table and asks, "How are you ladies doing tonight?" It really was a nice thing to ask, for my mom. As for me, being a man, not so much. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Not a wife guy
Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML
Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML
Nice try
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Creeped out
Today, my mother and I went to lunch and there is a really cute waiter that works at the diner. I requested him to wait on us like I sometimes do. While we were waiting to be seated, I heard one waiter say to the cute one, "Ya, the creepy one is back, and this time she brought her mom!" FML
Brilliant
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML
Grown up
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
Top comments
Yimpish 15
You should respond in the deepest voice you can muster, "Great how about you?"
Railroader 16
I get confused with Sasquatch all the time so don't worry about it.
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Comments (58)
gsam99 20
When I was younger, people always thought I was a guy. Sorry, op. FYL. :/
EvilTurtle 35
Don't worry OP, I always get confused for a piece of shit.
sammiaaron 16
same^
PolarBearActual 4
Damn 13...
tiger820 20
that's what I was thinking. it's one thing for a boy to be confused as a girl cause he'll be handsome. but when a girl looks like a guy or vise versa your ******......
cheeeksss 29
You used 'vice versa' incorrectly. It made your last sentence contradict your initial point.
junjunbun 28
Sorry dude, that got to suck. Maybe change your appearance a bit to look more manly?
Jake42100 17
11 you win for the three tips,I got a good laugh from them
kaitlynjane 28
Your profile picture makes your comment even better.
Railroader 16
I get confused with Sasquatch all the time so don't worry about it.
Delta_0DST 12
How the ** do you get mistaken for Sasquatch? Sorry, but that img amuses me.
sammiaaron 16
#3; omg hahahahaha
Railroader 16
I've got big feet and I'm rather hairy lol
Yimpish 15
You should respond in the deepest voice you can muster, "Great how about you?"
geekpower_fml 28
Maybe she just wasn't really paying any attention to you both and just properly looked at your mum?
Brighton_Cruz 20
Take that as a conpliment OP. That's good. Unless you're really fat.
A07 48
I've heard people say all guys are assholes, but all guys are fat??
Fmelikeuhateme 24
Long hair? Baby face? I know how that sucks :
negb 30
My boyfriend and I went to PINK at Christmas and the lady came up behind us and said "can I help you ladies?" And my boyfriend turned around and said "wow that was harsh." She was so embarrassed but we just found it funny. He has long hair but he's a pretty big guy and was wearing baggy clothes so I think she was probably just not paying attention. Same probably goes for your waitress, OP.
LowExpectations 30
Don't worry OP, happened to me once back when I had Chris Hemsworth hair. She was most likely not really paying attention to you.
vegantreegirl 26
Yikes. Sorry that happened. When I was a waitress I learned real quick not to mention genders. I avoided saying miss or sir and NEVER said Maam as many women would act like you're the devil incarnate for calling them that. I just say "how are you?" or "How can I help you?" etc
MariaGiovanni 25
yeah unless it was very obvious (boobs, dress redlipstick) I didn't say genders
ThrottleJockey 36
Coming from a server; boobs, dress, and makeup doesn't mean it's a female.