Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML
Today, my boyfriend of five days proposed to me at the mall. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying, "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed to me and I said yes. A few hours later, I found out he's been talking to multiple other girls for about three months. FML
Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML
Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML
Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML
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Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
Make sure you read the fine print.
ApologyKick 25
That's kinda cute don't you think? Hopefully he wasn't being serdead serious though.
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Comments (231)
leadawg75 12
Lmao! Yes Sheldon, Sheldon cooper.
AlexBblah 10
You know just in case,
Dixbfloppin 11
Just in case you want to get raped. You know, legal contracts an' shit.
SkoomaKi 28
Sheldon Cooper?
TwentyFourXXIV 13
Maybe if you cheat on him he might sue you... ;)
AlexBblah 10
Did you agree to the terms and Conditions?
THE_A_TEEN 28
*Ignores terms and conditions and clicks yes* Who cares, it's not like I'm going to be part of an experiment involving sewing my mouth to a Japanese guy's anus, right?
insertnameherr 11
ew..
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
TEEN, go to hell for making me remember the disgusting horror that was The Human Centipede.
miz_kamakazi 11
I never saw the human centipede. I thought TEEN's reference was to South Park.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
It was a reference to the Apple episode of South Park, which was in turn a reference to The Human Centipede :-)
nevereyes 31
Human centipede is a amazing show, made me laugh so hard! Also made me very thirsty.
cantthinkofshit 5
South park reference for the win!
misshighjinks 5
I would have laughed and hoped he laughed with me
MisterMuffinz 13
Sounds like that one episode of Everybody Hates Chris.
gheebuttersnaps 4
At least you didn't have to sign in blood.
heygirlie777 21
Did you sign it?
Soliz27 2
What no finger print? With a good lawyer I could see you getting out of it.