maryfaithh
United States
Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
Anonymous
Cooked
Today, I tried to make mashed potatoes but then went into another room to wait on them, then forgot about them, ruining my only big pot and a full bag of potatoes. FML
razordot
Brisbane, Australia
Today, after complaining all my life that no one makes a decent can opener, I have realised that I have been using them the wrong way. I finally figured out that the cutting blade goes on the SIDE of the can not the TOP. I'm 57 years old. FML
missgayle319
United States
Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML
dumbbb
United States
Great idea
Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
The war on pickles
Today, I spent my lunch break trying to open a jar of pickles that had been stuck for weeks. I finally gave up and asked a coworker for help. He tapped the lid once with a spoon and it opened immediately. I'd been fighting a pickle jar every day for a month. FML
nessacadesa
United States
Slicy slicy
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Anonymous
United States
Check your luggage
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Tired Tater
Christchurch, New Zealand
Mush
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Anonymous
Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML
Top comments
that1guyyy 12
That's uncanny
DocBastard 40
You dumbass! The potato peeler is for mixing things, and the can opener is for slicing pizza. You're supposed to use the microwave to open cans. Everyone knows that.
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Comments (134)
that1guyyy 12
That's uncanny
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
As far as puns go, that was uncanny.
dav3800 7
^ your comment wasnt canny either.
Michael_92 20
Well I thought it was funny.
Michael_92 20
That was directed towards 1 just fyi people!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your mum wasn't canny either...
perdix 31
Well done! Very rarely does a "first" nail it like that. You're quick, and in commenting, that's a good thing.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Thanks for the thumb downs, red is my favourite colour. :)
gojira666 7
Hey look everybody tourettes guy is off his meds again
Jakesterk96 8
I've heard people talking about the difference between ice-cream scoopers and mashed potato scoopers, but this is just crazy.
DarkSeekerX94446 14
I see what you did there, very canny. (lame pun intended.)
_Oblivion_ 12
17- Is it me or do you seem to be the new local dumbass? All i see is a 'buried' icon next to your name whenever you comment, followed by various levels of negativity toward you.
RyanMacVey 17
#109 - Oh hell no!! Someone has stolen my old rank? FML
_Oblivion_ 12
haha it has finally happened, gayboii is a thing of the past and a new gayboii is born, tourettesguyftw. He has proven himself worthy for this position of great dishonor.
Janawa 22
The amount of puns in this comment feed is just too damn high!
mcintosh123 15
How can you not know the difference?
So2011 4
LOL.
CockAsian 14
She's from Tennessee. We don't even know what a can opener is. I'm surprised she even knows what a potato peeler is. Mind = Blown
silentbutfunny 0
Your picture is.... Different... From most O.o
CockAsian 14
Yes, yes it is.
Star_Fishie 12
Reefer!
christineladybug 0
Point!!
sryu 9
And just how long were you using the potato peeler before you realized you were doing it wrong?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
3 days, I reckon.
TheFirstSamurai 18
And on the third day, her brain woke up.
The_Great_Bevis 3
How dose one forget what a can opener looks like
Feklfekl2222 32
How does one forget how to spell does? I know it's probably a typo but I can't help correcting things like this.
The_Great_Bevis 3
Eh I just woke up and my phone likes to spell things in the strangest ways sometimes
Feklfekl2222 32
Fair enough.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
That was a shit excuse. But still, stop, Hammer time!
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
horrible excuse!
GoW_Chick 15
I thought it was a legit excuse, happened to me before, better then some who say things like "my friend stole the phone," or some dumbass thing like that.
DocBastard 40
You dumbass! The potato peeler is for mixing things, and the can opener is for slicing pizza. You're supposed to use the microwave to open cans. Everyone knows that.
TheDrifter 24
Works amazingly and gives your food a unique signature flavour too.
coletrain11 5
You know it's going to be a unique taste because we are using the fancier spelling of flavor.
TheDrifter 24
Not fancier, just Canadian. Taste is so important to us that we add an extra letter to "flavor".
flockz 20
stick your metal fork in a power outlet too! it makes the food shock your senses.
tattooedcowboy 6
Shockingly flavour
Klima_fml 29
I've been doing it wrong my whole life?!?
music_woman1 11
I've had those moments too ????
music_woman1 11
Sorry the question marks where meant to be the embarrassed emoji face..
Michael_92 20
It's okay. It's fml it's not like people constantly start fights over grammar or proper usage of faces lol
cosmosis 12
Lucky you pointed that out. I was going to answer your question....
WCARlover 35
Please tell me you were under the influence of something and this isn't just plain stupidity
Michael_92 20
I'm guessing it's one of them moments. I'm sure you have had one of them wtf moments before. I know I have! haha
Margemander 4
I call them "brain farts." Sometimes you can even hear the intelligence bursting out with a loud "Phthbbbbbbbbt!" sound.
CockAsian 14
Nope. She's just that stupid.
blackstar994 5
I'll have what she's having.
Shelta957 13
^Drugs are bad
zephyrum 0
Peel the can?
TheFirstSamurai 18
Because opening cans with a can-opener is too mainstream.
YaboyVinnie 21
No, you can't.
Snafuusmc 12
Let me guess when you also go up the stairs you think there's one more step and there isn't and it ends up making you look like a fool? It happens to all of us....
ShroomsOnAcid 17
The FML and your comment reminded me of George Carlin's routine about those brain farts we all experience at some point. They really do bring us together like nothing else.
Margemander 4
I didn't know that was started by Carlin. Makes sense as to why my family uses the term. I love that man.