Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML
Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
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Top comments
nixter5 18
Please don't tell me you used teeth.
clownphobia23 12
...What the heck?
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Comments (241)
beebananaz88 0
How can you be bad at it?
metalflower00 11
How did u get two FMLs posted almost back to back?
jack3dup 1
He just found out his gay....
NullPointer 20
Don't worry, it's not your fault. You probably just give head just like Father Andrews, and he had flashbacks.
TapialPaado 1
After I gave my boyfriend his first hand job, he wouldn't make eye contact with me or talk or snuggle. I felt so bad - did I do something wrong? Had he decided he didn't like me after all? It turned out that he was embarrassed. Embarrassed of letting go of his self-control; afraid from having shared that kind of intimacy with someone else; ashamed of himself for giving in to his animal nature. He doesn't even come from a religious family, he had just absorbed all this sexual guilt vicariously from the culture. I let him know how much his cold shoulder had hurt me, and he promised that he wouldn't shut me out anymore - that he would let me help him work through it. That was 4 years ago and he's over it now. Chin up, let him know how you feel, and ask him how he feels.
JustStella 28
Yup, I think that's his problem... He must think he's going to hell or something.
sanabbyx3 6
Was it his first doing any kind of intimate actions?
kevinmahoney 2
I remember when I used to get bad bjs. Then... I asked for a handjob.
djxerxes9000 18
Did you use his tears as lubricant?
doumtabarnack 12
Either you suck at it or you're too good and his brain overloaded from pleasure...which took an hour to reboot LOL
queenb1621 21
50/50 chance..
vewillia 0
Lucky bastard......