Today, I watched porn on my phone for the first time and it went black and shut down. In reality my phone just died, but I thought for a few seconds that the government found me out. Paranoia much. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML
Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I went to the phone store to get a new SIM card. The store manager went on my browser to see if my data was working. Two pages of porn popped up. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, I stopped using porn by blocking it on my phone and laptop. Only problem is I still get off without it. FML
Today, I was sick, and decided to work from home. After coding for a few hours, I took a break, and being home alone, I watched porn. A few minutes later, I received messages from my colleagues telling me to shut it down. I had forgotten I was working on teamviewer. FML
Today, I opened my personal laptop at a company meeting. I forgot that the battery died while watching a porno last night. It was ten seconds of slurping, spitting and gagging. It was my first day. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
It gets easier and more morally desensitising after a few faps. Just wear a tin foil hat on both heads.
booze_n_bitches 37
I normally just hire a few exotic dancers to come over every time I wank. Or ask them to come up from the basement for ten minutes. Less of this "technology" malarkey.
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Comments (70)
SkylineFTW97 25
The government has better things to do than log what kinds of **** we watch.......or do they?
thatsme293 28
Apple killswitch alert
mnelms 9
this is an old fml. way to repost op.
blargblah 12
What kind of **** are you watching that you're afraid of the government?
princess51423 15
The Government?! What kind of **** were you watching?
Bubbilility 27
Everyone is asking what kind of **** you were watching. All I can think of is, like, a parody of the government. Obama and his wife... or some other politician. Trump? I don't know American politics. Heck, I hardly know Australian politics.
hiddenfromsight 7
You're an idiot