Today, as I enjoyed my peaceful evening, I realized that my redneck neighbors had gone into the hills to shoot machine guns. How the almighty f**k did they get MACHINE GUNS? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in Nevada during Halloween night, I discovered my neighbors have something that sounds an awful lot like an explosive. I can't see anything on fire, but WHY do my neighbors have EXPLOSIVES? FML
Today, I found out that the loud "firecrackers" I heard the night before were actually shotgun blasts by my neighbor murdering his girlfriend. FML
Today, I was walking my dog in my suburban neighborhood when all of a sudden we practically jumped out of our skin (and fur) when we heard what I assumed were fireworks. Nope, someone down the street was testing their new AR-15 in their backyard. All perfectly legal. FML
Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML
Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML
Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML
Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML
Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML
Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML
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Top comments
hopejm 5
they're two kinds of rednecks. white trash idiots and super nice 'give you the shirt off their backs' type of people. ALL of them grew up with guns. let's just hope they're the latter cuz on the plus side, now you don't have to install an alarm on your house if someone 'sketchy' comes around. just make sure you're friendly with them. respect goes a long way with these people. you show them respect and they will defend you to the end.
RichardPencil 32
They went to America -- where's women's rights to decide on health issues are taken away to give more gun rights! Pretty soon, everyone will have armed drones.
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
They went to America -- where's women's rights to decide on health issues are taken away to give more gun rights! Pretty soon, everyone will have armed drones.
joseph_rod_05 14
OP’s in mf Canada tho
Plop 17
Hence what Richard wrote: "they WENT to America". Reading, it's useful. How they'd get the gun across the border though...
raven_of_azarath 35
I feel like the Canadian-American border isn’t as heavily patrolled as the Mexican-American border. I could be wrong though.
ChipBoundary 9
You would be extremely wrong. It's heavily guarded and patrolled by both countries. It makes the Mexico/USA border look like an open window by comparison.
pwinche1 11
Depending on the gun, you can turn a standard rifle into an automatic weapon. It is a kit you can buy.
Doom_Kitty 14
This FML represents almost everything what everyone outside of America thinks about Americans, lol^^
Warp1978 15
It's America, guns god and the subjection of the female race are the standards
hopejm 5
they're two kinds of rednecks. white trash idiots and super nice 'give you the shirt off their backs' type of people. ALL of them grew up with guns. let's just hope they're the latter cuz on the plus side, now you don't have to install an alarm on your house if someone 'sketchy' comes around. just make sure you're friendly with them. respect goes a long way with these people. you show them respect and they will defend you to the end.
EBrogen 12
Most likely a bump stock and not a machine gun. Also, I'm pretty certain they saw the vehicle you drive and decided to celebrate you moving to the sticks. Try talking or breaking (more accurately drinking) bread with them.
IHaveThePower 18
OP here. This was in America--up in Nevada. I have no idea how FML decided I'm in Canada. Northern Nevada does not Ottowa make. My neighbors are the sort of idiots who crowded up the laundromat maskless today, though, which is why I suspect they're idiots who just found someone willing to sell them 'THE ONLY THING YOU NEED AGAINST BURGLARS!'