Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML

Handy

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

Ewwww

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

Today, a woman was standing in front of me in line. There was a strand of hair on her back, so to be nice, I pulled it off her. It was still attached to her head. FML

Today, I had an unbearable itch on my foot that I could not make go away with my nails, so I grabbed the stapler in my drawer to scratch it with. Bad idea. FML

Odorama

Today, as I came out of changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walked off, made it a couple of yards, changed my mind, and decided to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I got back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML

F*ck the patriarchy

Today, I watched as my girlfriend painfully plucked her eyebrows for half an hour. She is willing to do this, but not shave her armpits on a regular basis. FML

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML