Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML
Today, I spilled water on the front of my pants right before a meeting so I tried drying them with the hand dryer in the bathroom. A coworker walked in just as I was awkwardly squatting in front of the machine. FML
Today, while I was at work, I didn't have any panty liners so I used tissue. I was taking orders when I suddenly felt the tissue trailing down my leg. I tried not to move, but it inevitably fell through my pants onto the floor in front of my co-workers. I swiftly put it into my pocket. Luckily, it had nothing on it. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML
Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML
Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML
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Top comments
ant1078 7
Not gonna lie...I would stare 0.0
DocBastard 40
A likely excuse! I bet you were actually involved in some hanky panky with a coworker in the bathroom and came up with this elaborate cover story. You are so busted.
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Comments (100)
chesoes 8
this is not such a bad situation , it dries off pretty quick
innavoiG 9
Well at least people won't think she's single.
pcentral 17
Wouldn't you have noticed that in the mirror??
LMFAOwned 9
It's a badge of honor. OP likes to get down and dirty in the office like a boss.
briancallahan 3
Swag!
zandalee 20
Obviously it was a dull day at work and someone needed a little nipple time...
Yodaevil 4
Or speed up the drying process, shake your boobs back and forth vigorously!
ant1078 7
Not gonna lie...I would stare 0.0
featherygoose 9
So wud i Itz gud to bcus yolo you no wut I sain
Drigr 9
Please 22, even if it was sarcasm, never post like that again. You made my brain hurt...
Skinwalker131 5
22- Da fuq did I just read?
ArielTheMermaid 17
No worries, OP! It'll dry!!
kooochris1995 14
I would probably stare either way. ):
quite_bored 9
Cars are perverts.
KaiserSD 8
Sexy, lol. Your co workers can fantasize about you getting felt up by a female co worker. Steamy!
Yodaevil 4
49 not all cars! I think simple way for her to avoid the problem in the future is to wear no bra at all, therefore no need to adjust!
samiiii_fml 2
At least you have a cubicle and didn't have to go directly work with people where they can all see you.
andiewithlove 21
Damn! Must've been typing at the same time:P
Dunvanation 4
Guys check it out! The girl above me somehow is a superhuman since she has pink and black hair!
HiIAmKevin 8
At the same damn time!*
andiewithlove 21
At least you're in a cubicle and not out dealing with the public, OP.
DocBastard 40
A likely excuse! I bet you were actually involved in some hanky panky with a coworker in the bathroom and came up with this elaborate cover story. You are so busted.
lucianaamelia 21
Nice pun:D idk if it was intended or not but yeah
Drigr 9
Umm... I might just be a total idiot... But where's the pun?
misspulkadot24 17
Busted=Bust=Breasts.There's the pun.
winnerme123 8
28- you're not alone. I still don't get it.
DragonzCreator 3
Busted...Busty...
mercsl65 7
its a bad pun. but technically a pun.
PinkieKeen 20
*drums*
onlychildFTW 34
LMAO docbastard, YOLO. haha kidding. The pun isn't that bad really. It's simple and to the point.
e_r_i_c_a 4
Don't people just wipe there hands dry on there pants when there are no paper towels, or is that just me?
DocBastard 40
Where hands? There hands. Where pants? There pants. See where I'm going with this?
e_r_i_c_a 4
Sorry their. Now I'm ashamed that doc corrected me.
DocBastard 40
I don't do that to be obnoxious, I do it to try to teach. There's no need to be ashamed if you learned something.
rattusrattus 19
The human buttocks were covered in cloth in order to aid us in this noble endevour.
ManInTheMachine 20
Doc-Really? I do it to be a complete jackass and feed the trolls. I guess I need to get my priorities straight.
sarcasm17 10
Aside from your grammatical errors, I dry my hands on my pants all the time! Lol
SqueakyChipmunk 22
9) Your comment reminded me of the German friendship song from the Animaniacs.
mercsl65 7
9, I understood her post more than I understood your lame correction. how do you think languages evolved? I don't think you want to talk the same way humans did even only 500 years ago.
lellalove_fml 23
Schitzelbank!!!!!!!!!!
Lauaries8 16
63 - FYI: You're 94 comments deep, you should know by now not to mess with the Doc
awagh666 14
63- you don't call the doc by a number. You call him doc.
DocBastard 40
Mercsl - Are you actually suggesting that people misspelling words constitutes evolution of language? That's a fascinating theory, really. You should publish it and see how famous you get.
mercsl65 7
76- there are many instances of contemporary languange that are formally recognized now but were considered informal sometimes only decades earlier. so yes I do suggest that.
ant1ion 12
83 it was a grammatical error that is not in any way going to be used this way in the future, their is completely different from their, and always will be
ant1ion 12
There**
I_lost_the_game 25
83- Don't do it... You'll regret it... Don't say we didn't warn you, for we did. *whispers* And people shall get you for calling Doc by a number...
angeluv_2014 22
Who is this Doc person and why is everyone so obsessed with him? And serioisly? To try to teach? I thought this was FML not English class. A word to all you grammar Notzis: GET OVER YOURSELVES!! Everyone makes mistakes every once in a while. Chill out! You don't even know the people you correct. Why do you even care how perfect their grammar is on a public forum? Do you just not have anything better to do??? This sudden surge of grammar correction is a perfect example of how people copy anything they think is popular or will make them seem above others (in this case more intelligent). But honestly, you don't seem more intelligent. You just seem bitchy, annoying, and lame as hell. :
mtrrace 4
Those crazy bathroom experiences
aliciamarie1 8
It'll dry
CallMeMcFeelii 14
No it will not. It was some high tech nondrying water.
Slender_Man 6
40- high tech water? That's kinda ironic
Welshite 40
I can just imagine the stares of disbelief you received when you tried explaining this to your co-workers.
perdix 31
That ought to give your boss some ideas ;)