Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML
Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tased. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
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Top comments
blargheria 0
Supervisor of the year award goes to...
bigAC 6
you're like one of those Windex bird
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Comments (153)
JustDannyG 0
Haha don't you think security guards should have a little more backbone??
1221jamw 11
Next time prank him and go in dressed as a wearwolf, with a knife, and stab him in the leg. Just for "fun"
Hxcpunker92 3
Wtf is wrong with you?
ShitzWeak 0
Cause u know his boss will be like " haha u sure got me good. Now my legs gushig blood and im okay with that cause its all fun in games "
Daralea 21
I hope someone shoots you with a silver bullet -_-
killak41 9
It could've been worse op could have tazed the window
robertlovespi 3
How the prong things would just hit the window and fall down. Pepper spray would fill the car and potentially bounce off the window back into his eyes.
foxman47 3
Pepper spray is way worse than being tazed. Plus, shooting pepper spray in a closed environment would be harsh on your throat and lungs. I'm sure OP had a horrible night after this
melissaxo3 1
... and that's the result for falling asleep on the job ;D that sucks OP.
Carrotkidd15 5
Your boss truly is.. A boss.
Blueglasscup 18
I wonder why your supervisor has a scream mask with him.
Epsilonyx 15
What kind of paperwork do you get as a graveyard security guard? "We are not liable for any damage, mutilation, or sexual approaches committed by the undead."?
cptmorgan6 8
Graveyard shift buddy. Not a shift at the graveyard.
Epsilonyx 15
Oh...awkward.
Bourne_ 5
It says graveyard SHIFT. Not JOB.
Epsilonyx 15
That PERSON above ME already said THAT. Thanks.
iredbone 10
I love u 106!(:
GameOver008 1
It probably was a windows 7......ok it's not funny Dx
japtch 15
At least you didn't actually pepper spray your boss.
kaykay20 0
I think that would show he was actually a competent employee who was able to do his job as a security guard. The fact he couldn't remember to roll down a window and practically spray himself shows he's not very good at his job at least in this scenario.
blunttobluntest 12
I moderated this this morning. Sad Sad life! Make sure you rinse your eyes out before they turn red and you end up looking like a zombie in the gravyard!