Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML
Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tased. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
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Top comments
blargheria 0
Supervisor of the year award goes to...
bigAC 6
you're like one of those Windex bird
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Comments (153)
Danielt104 6
All I heard was "Today I tried to pepperspray my boss, but I hit the window instead. Therefore, I did not lose my job. FML
lazerus1974 8
Stop being a lazy shit and falling asleep at work!!!
Obeyy19 4
Like a boss... Lmfao!
dr_random 11
Haha, self inflicted friendly fire! :-)
MrCanoe 5
not sure the laws are where you are but where I live it is illegal for regular security guards to carry pepper spray or any other type of weapon(taser, baton etc.) the only ones permitted are armed guards but they only do armor truck like jobs like ATM emptying. So you may have 2 big problems one for falling asleep on the job and 2) carrying a an illegal weapon
dansco 25
Lesson - dont fall asleep and make sure window is open before spraying pepper spray lol Lucky you have a cool boss or tick tack for you ;)
BabbiiLovvee 0
Lmao!!
ChelsiiBabee 5
Whenever I see a 'Scream' mask, I freak out.
FMLinCA 12
sucks to be you, shouldn't have been sleeping on the job. but this made me literally LOL!
greenorange75 8
Even if the window was open, he still would have been wearing the scream mask.