yeyt209
Bismarck, United States
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
It's alive!
Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML
Anonymous
United States
What a wonderful life
Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML
pantless
Sydney, Australia
Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML
Anonymous
Not lovin' it.
Today, a kid pulled down my shorts while I was ordering at McDonald's. In my haste to pull them back up, I hit my head on the counter and was knocked out cold. I woke up on the floor, my shorts still around my knees, in a puddle of my own urine. I had peed myself while unconscious. FML
FUCKKKS
United States
Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML
whyme
United States
Hit and run
Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML
stardustveins
San Francisco, United States
Today, I was waiting in the McDonald's drive-thru and listening to some music. I was tapping my non-driving foot to the song when I accidentally tapped the wrong foot and rear ended the cop car in front of me. Whoops. FML
idiot
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Wake up
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
mazey93
Newport, United Kingdom
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
Anonymous
United States
Wakey wakey
Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. I'd set an alarm but forgot to turn my car off, having switched the AC on due to the blistering heat. The cool air lulled me to sleep. When I woke up, my boss was knocking on my window. Apparently, I'd knocked the car into neutral and it had rolled into his parking spot. FML
Top comments
loserman67 36
Well, that's what you get for either: A: Being drunk or B: Eating that crap. Could have been worse, you could have been woken up by a clown.
allard 14
Did he buy you a McWakeTheFuckUp?
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Comments (91)
loserman67 36
Well, that's what you get for either: A: Being drunk or B: Eating that crap. Could have been worse, you could have been woken up by a clown.
Abdul888 16
1 cool imagination bro
reddudeover 2
1 - This FML does need more information, but that's a false dichotomy those definitely aren't the only two choices.
reddudeover 2
27 - Quick call Chris Hansen. He could have been there to pick up someone and was tired because he worked all day and it was late. There are many reasons 1 just assumes the worst.
ColdplaySucks 18
The fries are good.
mannykatany 9
Yumm.! Some pink slime aka chicken nuggets(:
notyobabymomma 4
Pink slime is in burger meat
Ninjasaurus18 9
33- Pink slime is in beef. But yeah, their chicken nuggets are made of basically the whole chicken without the breast. The breast meat is used for their chicken strips and McBites. It's McNasty.
midnightxloner 1
75 - Actually while I worked there for only a short time, I found out that the chicken nuggets are made off of the fat of old hen breasts.
lolipop1234_fml 7
I like your name :)
lolipop1234_fml 7
That was for 32.
Arrawyn 12
What did the cop want from you?
chilearmy123 4
Maybe the cop wanted your food?
MrSassypants 34
#2 Maybe the cop saw a guy passed out in a car and maybe thought he was dead, really passed out, maybe drunk or drugged, and wouldn't be a threat on the road, or just to see if he was all handy dandy.
evilplatypus 39
2 - That's what I'd like to know. I feel like we're missing part of the story here so we can't really say FYL or YDI. I mean, if the cop woke him up and gave him a ticket for loitering or something, that would be FYL. If the cop woke him up to warn him he had gotten sh*tfaced and was choking on his own vomit, it would be YDI. Can we get the end of the story please?
Axipiter 24
He would have also gotten some form of DUI if he were drunk, maybe just a public intoxication, but to the best of my knowledge it is at LEAST legally frowned upon to be behind the wheel while drunk, even if only to sleep. Leaves too much to speculation as to what MAY have happened beforehand.
LonelyIslander1 5
He probably wanted to share that 20 piece McNugget meal.*winks
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
I'm pretty sure the cop wanted them to wake up...
cameron194 9
43, in Canada you can get in shit for getting beer out of your trunk if u have ur keys on you.. Not too sure about the laws in ND but I bet he got some sort of DUI, assuming he was drinking
cameron194 9
43, in Canada you can get in shit for getting beer out of your trunk if u have ur keys on you.. Not too sure about the laws in ND but I bet he got some sort of DUI, assuming he was drinking
Mommyof2_91 10
56.. So what if your trunk is locked? You have to unlock it, put your keys somewhere else, get the beer then get the keys back and lock it. Well that's dumb.
cameron194 9
43, in Canada you can get in shit for getting beer out of your trunk if u have ur keys on you.. Not too sure about the laws in ND but I bet he got some sort of DUI, assuming he was drinking
cameron194 9
I'm just telling you what the laws are like in Canada.. Most people take there booze out of the car and bring it with them to wherever ur drinking.. If your walkin towards your car with your keys in your hand, theres a potential to hop in the car and drive away.. Kinda stupid I know, but that's whats up here
cameron194 9
If your near your car, drunk with keys you can get in shit in Canada.. Maybe not a "DUI" charge.. But u deff get in shit
cameron194 9
Or just take all the booze out before you start drinking and bring it with you.. Saves alot of trips to the car.. If u start drinking , there should b absolutely NO reason for you to go to ur car with your keys.. Make sure u bring everything u need out of the car with you
EvilPotato 15
2 his dick, or her ******.
darnellq 13
That's not true. In Louisiana being behind the wheel and if the keys are in the vehicle you can get a DUI.
BunBunBabe 8
Actually you can if your keys are less than twelve inches from your ignition too, stupid loop hole
justspin 7
Not that bad. Could had been worse. You could of had been naked or had your hand down your pants too.
onlychildFTW 34
This really isn't bad at all. So a cop woke you up. As long as you weren't doing anything bad then this isn't really an FML.
Screwie 25
Want some French fries with that, sir?
laden_swallow09 35
3 - *could've / could have
CL3V3RGURL 9
WHOOPS!!! That's what you deserve if you were drunk...
evilplatypus 39
..."if" being the operative word here. We have no way of knowing the circumstances behind any of this. Some diseases and disorders cause people to pass out. For all we know OP had low blood insulin causing him to pass out. Try not to be judgmental of something you know absolutely nothing about.
Il_Maestro 6
Nah I probably just used too much chloroform. My bad, OP.
onlychildFTW 34
And that IS why he said IF #40.
evilplatypus 39
83 - Yes, but their entire post was making a single assumption with nothing to back it up. Therefor,e it was a completely pointless comment that did nothing but waste space and give people something to thumb down.
Samanthai 0
I hope u had a nice meal
allard 14
Did he buy you a McWakeTheFuckUp?
Rowdey 10
A McGangbang is the best thing you will ever put in your mouth.
Nick8_25_11 0
He wanted to make sure you had a god McDay.
retyi43 14
just awful.
MissMae93 23
"a god McDay"... Hmm still trying to figure out how this makes sense...
j_cat187 20
Cop: Excuse me, can I see your papers. Op: I got papers, blunts, bongs, vaporizers...
Awahso 25
Can i see your papers? Where did you meet cops, East Berlin?
wallandpiece 16
Nah, it was the Korean DMZ.
Duuvve 13
Little bit sleepy from having a heavy meal, huh? And a cop waking you while you were happy sleeping? Or more like sleepy from a Happy Meal and heavy sleeping? Well, he must've thought you were creepin' around... Or died.
YourBuddyElmo 5
Shouldn't have eaten that 50-piece McNugget all by yourself...
Enslaved 38
Those McNuggets are so yummy with their Hot Mustard (not honey). Barbecue will never do again! :P
KiddNYC1O 22
Spicy Buffalo!