Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML
Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML
Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, I woke up early for work. Had my coffee, finished up a report and headed out of my house. Not only was the office closed today, but the silent alarm was on, which is triggered by a door opening even if you use a key. I was startled by the cops searching the building, ran, and got tased. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I passed out in my car in a McDonald's parking lot. I got woken up by a cop. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
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Top comments
blargheria 0
Supervisor of the year award goes to...
bigAC 6
you're like one of those Windex bird
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Comments (153)
gothhottie 5
Wow that's funny but great reflexes though
shadow10262000 7
way to go airhead here some people are struggleing for jobs and you go and fall asleep on yours. then in your stupidity you essentially pepper spray yourself. stay awake and do what you are paid to do or go home
summinay 0
His knocking on glass didn't give you a clue that your window was up?
Kain47 0
Good thing you're not in the military. You know what happens when we fall asleep on guard duty or firewatch? We get shot.
kareltje 17
If you can't stay awake during your shift, you shouldn't be doing it. Especially not when you're a guard. YDI. You still have the job? You wouldn't be the first one to get the boot for falling asleep on duty.
SorrowFull 8
Doughnut coma? Or just lazy ass Security Guard?
Clarice1 9
Oh my God, that sucks! As far as OP's falling asleep on the job, that obviously is a problem, but (s)he -- doesn't specify gender -- isn't a soldier or a police officer. If (s)he were I think (s)he would have chugged a little more coffee or otherwise made sure to stay awake, and probably wouldn't have been in a chill enough situation in the first place that (s)he'd be doing paperwork in the car. (Not to mention that the boss' coming to the window in a Halloween mask says something about the kind of work environment this is.) I'm not disparaging security guards or saying that their work isn't valuable or difficult. My mom worked as one for most of my childhood, so I know it is. But if this was just a one-time incidence of nodding off in the deserted parking lot of a suburban Wal-Mart, I think getting pepper sprayed is more than punishment enough.
heralynn1011 0
What a boss literally! Haha
pvtpilot 0
OP, please, do not try to become an airline pilot! :-)
hateevryone 15
thats funny as hell. i don't see why this is an FML.