Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, one of my ears randomly went deaf. I went to the doctor, thinking I had an ear infection or something. Turns out that your ears can go deaf entirely without reason, and I now have medication to take to see if I can get any of my hearing back in that ear. I'm only 26. FML
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
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Top comments
Marblecakelolz 11
Time to call the parents. Now, if only you could hear them...
red_headforlife 15
Kids these days, I swear.
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Comments (51)
poopsi 19
You see, this is why children scare me...
tialeanne 19
Obviously the child was just giving you a reason to go back to him as your general practitioner! ;)
katejones 8
I think a perforated ear drum could make you deaf ( hopefully usually temporarily). Go see a doctor. And teach the kid about ears and safety! Good opportunity.
Bakarra 22
I bet the scream she made when it happened was deafening, that deafinitely sucks though...
krissy2992 0
A perforated ear drum won't make you deaf. It causes a temporary conductive loss, potentially a mild permanent loss. Your ear drum should repair itself quickly but scar tissue is what will cause a loss. A trip to the Dr. wouldn't hurt.
GNR93 14
The ear drum cannot repair itself, once the tympanic membrane(ear drum) is punctured it's punctured for good. You won't go entirely deaf depending on how much of it is still intact because it will still vibrate whatever is left. There will of course be loss during the transduction between acoustic energy and the vibration of the ear drum.
MrConcise 35
The ear drum is generally easy to fix. In most cases, the surgery to patch a perforation isn't worthwhile. However, skin can grow around the hole since the ear drum can't repair itself, making the condition even worse, not to mention harder to repair. Most perforations don't result in deafness, but mine did.
asb818 14
A perforated ear drum actually.can repair itself depending on the size of the hole. Also, the size of the hole generally correlates to the amount of potential hearing loss and even permanent "ringing in the ear." Seek medical attention to determine if repair is needed. Good luck to you, I hope you get better.
hienzburgess 9
Nah you're not deaf. If your eardrum actually tore you'd be in too much pain to write an FML.
Dilwann 27
I killed my eardrum about 10 years ago. I was fine. Was just scared because it was bleeding.
MysteryGuest214 10
Kids can be deadly fast. I feel for you, OP, and hope there's no permanent damage.
tgod2013 5
Deaf in only one ear, you can still hear
TakeMeToRio 9
well... maybe you should visit a doctor before posting that you are deaf.
AllThingsBright_ 11
How long did it take to dislodge it from your ear? Not only can too not hear correctly but that sounds really painful.