Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, my two year-old son consistently ignores my mom and will crawl towards my dad every time. My mom is now refusing to visit because a two year-old hurt her feelings. I get it, being ignored hurts, but come on, he’s two. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Today, I asked my son to repeat something he had said. He got right up in my face and screamed that it was time I got a "fucking hearing aid." His siblings agreed with him. My husband agreed so much, he won’t even punish him for yelling and swearing, because, “Honestly, we all wanted to scream it.” FML
Today, at midnight, I heard my son calling for his mom. I stopped by his room and asked him what was wrong? He didn't tell me. Instead, he said: "Oh, I don't need you." FML
Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML
Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML
Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML
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Top comments
SpringDiver 6
Haha smart kid.
saIty 17
*Sheds a tear* He's growing up so fast.
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Comments (101)
SpringDiver 6
Haha smart kid.
SarMarJo 17
It's totally normal. Mine does it too and I was concerned and took her to the doctor (who is actually the same doctor I went to as a kid) and he said it's just part of the terrible twos and I did the same thing. :) Plus, they don't have the beat listening skills yet either.
XKXKKXK 10
Well now you ruined his master plan, OP.
bigtaytay 13
The attitude starts early lol
XxDancerGirlxX 17
Ouch. Can't wait to see how the teenage years turn out.
DK1234567 8
Terrible two's
saIty 17
*Sheds a tear* He's growing up so fast.
ColdplaySucks 18
It'll be interesting to see her son as a teenager.
saIty 17
Probably yelling at kids to get the hell off his lawn.
DarthCory 7
Or chewing on food that isn't there.
slacker92 9
Wow your two year old is already acting like a teenager. You must be proud that he's so ahead of his age
insertnameherr 11
what happens when he's 8 and starts acting like a 21 year old? better hide the liquor and use... *ahem*... parental controlled television...
purplenerple8 6
A case of the idontwanttohearyourvoice-itus
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Or he's gotten into his father's medication; ***-it-all.
IdontWanna69 8
I'm pretty sure there are other ways to test if his hearing is working.
JFurr 9
"Anyone want ice cream?" usually works wonders.
jamalamadingdong 18
Exactly 36. I could call my one and a half year olds for five minutes and they act like they're completely oblivious to anything I'm saying, but open up a bag of cookies and they hear that from across the freaking house!
DracoSpirita 21
They learn so fast, don't they?
Mekeritrig 15
Obviously you should start ignoring him as well.
Shadow_Blues 10
That whole "Fight fire with fire" thing doesn't work all that well with little kids... ^_^U
citymayer 7
Yes it does. ^_^ I can make smug faces too.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"Mommy, there's a man in my room!" *ignore* "Mommy, he's really scary!" *ignore* "And he's not wearing any clothes!" Yeah, ignoring him isn't exactly ethical...
redcyph 3
He was obviously joking, Ethical behavior isn't funny.
flutter4 7
He sounds like a typical 2 year old
OceanNut4 4
My 2 year old does worse than that that's why it's called terrible two's
greenie213 23
My two year old sister doesn't ignore anybody. She makes it quite obvious she doesn't want to have anything to do with them.
brohamas16 7
Hah selective hearing