Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
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Top comments
star_86 0
YDI for trying to teach that to a 2 year old!
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
she's 2. what else do you expect? YDI.
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Comments (115)
lizgoesrawr 0
fyl! ow
danielr1219 0
fyl
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
LOL i like your daughter though she may be possessed by the devil id watch my slef if i was you
bluecat_fml 0
super idiot, who taught u to take temp by shoving the thermometer in the ear anyways! the ones u can use on ears are not even long enough to cause injury... at least know what u doing before teaching ur kid!
ShatteredDreams8 0
10 i think you are the super idiot it never said she taught her how to do it in the ear. also she's 2 it's not like she realized that what she did was wrong
EffinAhole 0
10 36 you 2 are missing the point. No matter what was taught an object small enough to enter the ear should never be laying around for a 2 year old to play with. Thank God it was your ear and not hers OP! YDI
Skroal_stomper 5
I thought a thermometer was too short to go in the ear. They just seal around the opening to get a reading.
Coolbreezer 0
lol...thats awesome...lucky it wasn't a rectal thermometer...
Thunderbender 2
There are few times where it's okay to punch a child in the face. This is one of them.
XxBlackamusPrime 5
Ok similar thing had happened to me. Most likely your eardrum is cut or bruised. Mine was cut. If you don't want to pay for it, wait about 2-4 weeks for it to heal. If it starts bleeding see a doctor immediately. For the meanwhile, DON'T put anything in the ear(obviously) and don't even touch it. If you wake up with a really sore ear, see a doctor. Good luck.
lgeorge 0
Yay for child abuse!
spala 2
Ur sexii
star_86 0
YDI for trying to teach that to a 2 year old!
Kurg 0
No kidding. To both the comment and the reply
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Hey, how do you expect her to become a doctor by the age of 3 if we don't start her off early!
blankaex 0
Just become duh doctah or I keel you!
bamagrl410 31
This sounds like the one from a while back when the toddler tried to clean her dad's ear with a cotton swab or something of that nature. That sucks, but YDI for leaving the thermometer where she could get to it while you weren't looking.
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
she's 2. what else do you expect? YDI.
Bootyjuice23 0
i feel you
quite_bored 9
^ In all the wrong places.
15IowaGurl15 0
^ epic win.
DrummerBoy21 0
beat that kid... You won't be able to hear the cries LOL!
pytel93 0
ha!! bro that's ****** up!!
b45678 0
I think he thinks lol means lots of love.
anorexicbarbie 8
This is why I could never be a parent.
Arsonnist 3
Haha I thought you said "penis." But yeah, sometimes kids are nothing but trouble.
Mirorbo 27
Why would you teach a 2-year-old how to do that anyways? I mean, the little darling is still a toddler! She doesn't need that information yet.
Tikwichka 5
Exactly, #9. The motor control of a 2 year old is not particularly precise, either.
SpaceMannn 0
Why are you teaching a two year old how to take a persons temperature? Do you want her to be a doctor by the age of 10 or something?
pman590 8
Lololol that was freaking amazing!! :D
Hayman68 4
This reminds me of that scene in Family Guy: "You docta yet?" "No dad I'm only 13." "Talk to me when you docta."
Spongegar123 19
Asians, am i right?
AAShah 0
I'm just happy it's the ear. Half way through reading it I thought it was somewhere else. LMFAO
SpaceMannn 0
yeah I thought she was going to say that her two year stuck it up her butt...-__-
birds_fml 7
She should be happy it was her ear? Do you really think it would hurt worse to have a thermometer up your butt, than piercing your eardrum?
Tikwichka 5
#18, and I assume the OP was fully clothed, too. Some people just don't think before they comment.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
13 never said op should be glad it was in the ear, just that she herself was. maybe she didn't want to read about thermometers piercing the anal sphincter, or maybe she's a freak who wants the op to be in pain(: but she might just be slightly unintelligent/uninformed in that comment
ace83_fml 0
you are a ******* idiot and kids are dumb
ROFLFail 0
What do you expect? The kid to be a master surgeon? Yeah the OP has a ruptured ear drum, but at least she learned something out of it.