Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend gently pointed out that when we hug, it's our stomachs that touch first. FML
Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML
Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML
Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
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Top comments
0dazednconfused0 0
That's hilarious, I hope he wasnt to serious about it.
phara_fml 0
You should have hugged him back and said, "And this is how you hug a douche bag."
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Comments (202)
lickmyjock 0
Boyfriend +1 fatty
ROFLsyrup 0
say what?
blland 0
hei aye kan spail to,
cucuto89 0
Today my boyfriend made a joke at my expense, FML
RevengeOnYou 0
Today, I was first to comment on an fml. I have no life. FML
nygirl8302 0
get a dictionary, and learn how to spell...moron.
jtm1991 0
It's amazing how bitchy you people are. The purpose of FML is to find HUMOR in our lives; including the unpleasant moments. I applaude the boyfriend for being comfortable enough around her to TEASE her. Get a sense of humor and pull the stick out!
jhon316 0
ok so I did this to be at the top or ppl o se. idky girls are so dramatic and take things offensive like hat he probably ment was this is how to hug a whale like a regular hug well unless you a fat ass but still irks take everything wrong thank god I'm gay
taylorxsayss 0
agreed
Lord_of_0 4
Although, there again you could just be assuming that she's taking it seriously because this is on FML. Although, as you said, the purpose is to find humour in bad parts of our lives. Might this be what the OP felt about the issue? She was probably amused by the joke, but insulted.
0dazednconfused0 0
That's hilarious, I hope he wasnt to serious about it.
Mustardnight 3
Lol same what a brilliant joke. Ydi for forcing your boyfriend to watch ******* free willy.
fallegar 0
LOL!!!! this is interesting
Love_Bug 0
wow xD
iMP0W3R 0
this one was predictable. saw it coming at "i asked..."
imperfectclarity 0
Oh snap!
Sun_Kissed18 25
Thats so mean! He's insensitive
Miss_Jeannie 0
"I dont think he was commenting on her weight but rather that you hug a whale the same way you hug anything else...you put your arms around it and squeeze." That's exactly how I interpreted it. I think the OP is just a little too sensitive. Only someone who has extremely low self-esteem would see that as an attack on their weight, honestly. I don't have the greatest self-esteem and I still didn't interpret it as "omg you're such a whale!"
hedgehogs 0
yeah, same here. I saw it as he was taking the opportunity to hug the OP.
Reyo 2
Sunkissed: Must you be like every other melodramatic, prepubescent High school girl who insists that the man be a humorless robot?
Mustardnight 3
I know no emotion. I am a vampire with 10 abs and cannot make jokes, i am sworn to protect my loved one *insert prepubescent high school girl name here*. I am sworn to having lots and lots of money without actually doing anything to earn it. I possibly live in a small town or otherwise the OC. I am: The prepubescent high school girl GUY
crankyinthemorn 0
I agree with #43. The chick was over sensitive and he didn't mean it in the negative way she took it.
Notimetobleed 14
no random black chick, hes funny.
schwinn11 0
Hahahaha, classic, you should probably lose some weight
imerinmadigan 0
your kinda of an ass.
lickmyjock 0
Did he suck on your dorsol while milk came out?
IsaacYorkHawk 0
Wow, what an epic burn!!!
Jiplo 18
It could've just been a failed attempt at a joke.
schwinn11 0
You watched free willy? What a douche!!!!!
GatherTheMice 15
Dude you are REALLY not scoring any good guy points.
phara_fml 0
You should have hugged him back and said, "And this is how you hug a douche bag."
kittykat1501 31
So, a tampon bag? That's what a douchbag is
poiuytrewqlkjhgf 0
WOW you're such a baby obviously he was just kidding and he more than likely didn't even mean what it looks like he meant. CHILL. Jeez.
gators1995 30
Tell me about it xD