Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were, "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend gently pointed out that when we hug, it's our stomachs that touch first. FML
Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML
Today, I watched Cast Away with my girlfriend after not seeing it for a year. I forgot how sad it was when Wilson "dies" at the end. I cried. My girlfriend told me to man up. FML
Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
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Top comments
0dazednconfused0 0
That's hilarious, I hope he wasnt to serious about it.
phara_fml 0
You should have hugged him back and said, "And this is how you hug a douche bag."
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Comments (202)
The_Norwegian 2
Probably fake, but funny.. :)
FalsePretense 0
You're the one that wanted to know. Next time don't ask.
numzeh 0
SOMAgirl is right! im sure thats what he meant.
nygirl8302 0
i don't think that, when she asked, she expected or deserved a response so tasteless and cruel. If my fiance had said that to me, i'd have killed him. maybe she did misinterpret him, but it's highly unlikely.
Soulathyia 0
He was being funny you fat wale! God I'm so sick of these one time insults! If you really don't think you deserved it LOSE THE GD WEIGHT YOU DIDNT GET MORBIDLY OBESE OVERNIGHT!
Fraggle 0
All of these self-pitying 'my-boyfriend-thinks-I'm-fat' posts piss me off. If this REALLY happened and it hurt you that much, you should be posting about him as your EX boyfriend... If you aren't, then you don't deserve to bitch.
gymgirl48 0
lmfao love this sorry for you though :)
rlet 1
hahahaha that's super funny don't take it the wrong way he was just answering your question "how do you hug a whale?" Girl a hug is a hug it doesn't matter what it is you just put your arms around it to get it close to you!!! LOL
jakeidk 0
maybe he was showing you how to hug. and not implying you're a whale??
godyourethick 0
LOL You walked right into that one.
ilg4evr 0
Seriously. Either she's fat and needs to lose weight, or he's just joking around to get a rise out of her. Get over it OP
nygirl8302 0
...and you think it's ok for him to say that? she didn't ask for his critique on her body, and if she had, i would hope he would have a better response than that.
corme_fml 0
Geez, the guy has a sense of humor. If the girl is smart she'll think about something to make a crack at his dick sometime. :P
SEALMaster11 0
hahah what a man