Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
I bet you're glad that you decided to investigate that.
jawztheshark 6
Why would you randomly watch videos from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions?
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Comments (167)
BlueFlatts 20
I can just imagine how scarred I'd feel of I found out one of my parents had the same problem. But I'd sure as hell prevent me from being even remotely like that. Sorry, but YDI for digging deeper on a video like that. You wanted the truth, you can't handle the truth.
deathtothepix 26
At least your dad didn't walk in on you watching the video. I think that awkwardness would have been slightly more unbearable. Or if he had walked in and said, "Man, they were some good times."
Enslaved 38
What? He couldn't get it up or he couldn't stop masturbating? Hey, I want to know. It's not like it's my dad. :P
ToniTigger 3
Or your dad was an actor who got paid to be in an psa.
perdix 31
I'm thinking the OP was conceived by her mom scooping up her dad's spooge off the wall and jamming it up in her. Anyone with me?
Epikouros 32
There's a Kurt Vonnegut novel in which the survival of humanity depended on a similar technique. The wife of the last man on Earth manually impregnated the last surviving fertile woman.
ICastillo 25
She probably used a turkey baster to pick it up and shoot it inside her.
justin528 4
Just be glad it didn't show a video of his privates or pics. Sorry op
Epikouros 32
We don't know that the video didn't show his private parts. A Swedish sex documentary from the 1980s could be pretty graphic. In fact, I remember seeing a **** movie in a seedy French theater in the 1990s that was a spoof of Swedish sex education. It involved an alternative use for a Volvo's gearstick.
rattusrattus 19
I hope this horrifying revelation happened whilst you were in private, looking at old sex ed videos because they're so wrong they're funny/disturbing (did you know that lesbians had elongated clitorises that they used in lieu of penises? nope, neither did any of the lesbians I know who saw that particular old 'fact'), rather than in class where they still show these videos.
robbie91 3
Straight to the favorites..
Salem222 4
Father like son obviously if you had to look up the video in the first place :)
merser 7
WOW!!!!!! congrats your dads on TV