Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
I bet you're glad that you decided to investigate that.
jawztheshark 6
Why would you randomly watch videos from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions?
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Comments (167)
batmans_pancakes 2
You shouldn't have done the investigating then.
evilpokey 11
more than two shakes is a pull
MrThumbsItUpMan 8
It would of been awkward as **** IF your dad caught you watching his **** tape. You wouldn't be able to look at your dad the same way IF he caught you
winnerme123 8
Reread the FML. You wouldn't of made this stupid ass comment IF you would of read it correctly the first time.
isableha 9
Where does it say OP was watching ****?
ICastillo 25
Eh everybody does it man.... Some a little more aggressive than others...hmm ok maybe a lot more aggressive.
xxBitchxPleaSe 6
"So dad I hear you find EVERYTHING hard to fap to"
Axipiter 24
No.
gracehi 33
On the bright side, you now have blackmail material. "Clean my room? Sure, Dad. I'll start by organizing my VIDEO collection..."
perdix 31
Ray McKigney?
LMFAOwned 9
No.
perdix 31
Yes! It's an obscure Seinfeld reference.
stormchaser24 24
Was this in school or did you just YouTube 80's Sexual dysfunctions?
mikeymayhem_87 15
It could be a combo of the two... The class may have had to watch YouTube vids of 80s sexual dysfunctions. Just sayin'....
DracoSpirita 21
I have a question. Why on earth were you watching that video?!
tehcyberman 9
Sex-Ed, maybe? Granted, that's a strange video to watch, even for sex-Ed.
BubbleGrunge 18
Isn't that part of being a dude? And a teenager?
RedPillSucks 33
I don't think a "crippling masturbation problem" is part of being a dude. That's the low budget gender reassignment surgery. Yank it till it falls off.