Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML
Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said, "Excuse me…" The lady then maced me through the open window. FML
Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML
Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML
Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML
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Top comments
JFAW 6
One of those days...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Did you have a bottle of urine in your hand, by chance? Shame on you, trying to spray people in their cars. "Cleaning windows," riiiight!
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Comments (144)
crimsonprodigy 15
Have you checked if there are any "wanted" posters of you?
gc327072 31
Then OP could go tear them down, and bribe heralds to lower their profile.
gc327072 31
49- but when you do so subtly with poison darts, it is very effective. Just don't kill the leader of the Janissaries in front of them, they will be on to you like white on rice.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Or just call in your assassins to do the dirty work for you.
gc327072 31
82- I personally prefer the good 'ol arrow storm, but that's just me.
toomuchflush 1
I would have given her a face but that's just me
raisinbam 13
Some people are just paranoid?
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Are you a goth or something? Cause that tends to happen to me.... not specifically people locking their cars but similar things that are very unnecessary, just because you don't like how I look doesn't mean I'll attack you like a rabid wolverine. Some people.... FYL.
redmane 21
It tends to happen to people who could get judged. Which is everyone, anywhere: race, style choices, finances, career choice, physical disabilities, etc. I definitely agree with the middle and end of your comment, but the beginning was a little unnecessary.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
I only said it like that because that is exactly what happens to me and to some of my friends, simply because of how we look.
wryguy2765 8
You don't look very goth
astoryofroses 9
Ayyyyy sexy lady!
ks23 9
By clicking repeatedly wouldn't she just be locking and unlocking the door? Anyways don't sweat it some people are overly paranoid.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
The lock button only locks. The unlock button unlocks. Tracking now?
ks23 9
How about you track every car is different. My car for example has one button push it once it locks keep pushing it unlocks. Repeated pushing result in lock and unlock. Regardless once a car is locked its not going to get anymore more locked by repeated pushing.
ks23 9
...
gracehi 33
Perhaps you should forgo the shaved head, Nazi tattoos, ripped sleeves, and myriad facial piercings in the future. (Before people give me shit for making assumptions, my comment is obviously a joke.)
ks23 9
If its so obvious why did you have to tell us?
gracehi 33
Because, sadly, some people are stupid.
Fusion55 7
I'd be flattered haha
booboo2464 3
Bad hair day?
tsent8 15
hide yo kids! Hide yo wife!
olpally 33
Ignore this comment above and thumb it down... Was meant for someone else. Sorry folks.
olpally 33
Ignore my comment please.
vhivfe 3
And hide your husbands cuz they rapin everybody out there...now the remix is stuck in my head!