Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself, "I wish I had a boyfriend like that…" I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Is anyone else somewhat reminded of one part of Paramore's Misery Business video? Except that the girl/guy roles are switched?
DameGreyWulf 1
Boob punch.
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Comments (99)
hrtstealer 0
you should have pee on her front door.
mas19 0
that bitch, god doesn't anybody break up?
WhatsHerName_ 0
the hugging part woulda been alright, but the kissing.. shes a stupid dog, seriously dude i hope you knocked her out, or get/got someone else to do it, id volunteer mate.
jeniilouise 0
hahahaha that sucks though.
rokket12892 0
that sucks. so bad.
Live_And_Let_Liv 0
that sucks. i hope u dumped that *****.
Fleurygirl 7
Maybe she was going to dump you anyway OP, now at least you can be angry rather than upset.
killerguitar007 1
Dude. I hope u dumped tht bitch. If she was gonna dump you then she should have dumped you BEFORE acting like a ****. If I were you I would spread horriblr rumour about what kind of things she did while you 2 were together
Whitsymone 0
Careful what you wishh 4;;haha!!
Unsure_1 0
Dump her ass.