Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself, "I wish I had a boyfriend like that…" I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Is anyone else somewhat reminded of one part of Paramore's Misery Business video? Except that the girl/guy roles are switched?
DameGreyWulf 1
Boob punch.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
ifinishlast 0
donkey punch that bitch. then do like a Ken soyruken to her vag. then throw a cooked grenade at her like in COD4. then get a chainsaw and cut her arm off like in dead rising. then perform close quarters combat on her and slit her throat like in metal hear solid. then tea bag her dead body after you defuse the bomb like in counter strike
Dylan94_fml 8
xbox/ps3 fag gamer.
sutianneli 13
Oh look Chris brown decided to join FML.
tehman117 21
I wonder why u don't have a girlfriend
Deltaforce1 9
So basically copy every game ever yea good advice mate
BeeSkwaird 0
It took me forever to figure out what on earth you were trying to say, OP. So the girl really was your gf? Or just some girl who made you jealous...?? YDI for such poor wording.
dsrs3777 0
Uhm the wording was fine. you're just slow.
BeeSkwaird 0
Slow or not, anyone who studies language can objectively say the last sentence has misplaced modifiers and ambiguous pronouns. Whether or not that makes this FML "YDI-worthy" is subjective.
buckfasthero 0
Watch out!! Not-so-intuitive-grammar-Nazis operating on this site.
Littlerunner 0
Shut up you have no friends.
KelpGelp 1
No YDI for being such a dumbass. If you actually had some brain cells, it wouldn't be that hard to figure out what he's saying.
kiwi0805 3
it took me like 5 times to figure out what he was saying too. I agree there was a much better way he could have said that to get the point across. however, I think this situation is sad, so I don't think it's a YDI.
xxgrand 0
Give her the clap!
Mischief109 11
.. Which means he needs to have the clap to..
blastvortex 4
Correction - she "was" your girlfriend. You got pwned. Dump the broad. You might be tempted to reciprocate, but that could backfire (if people think you're doing it out of jealousy, etc., instead of just out of revenge).
Rota 0
Shoulda ran up to her, jumped into her arms, and broke her ******* nose.
ScaryPants3 0
I agree with that plan.
thefury 0
drop her like a bad habit
arizdegenerate 0
I am outta touch. I had to goto urban dictionary to find out what "Alabama hot pocket" and "California prairie dog " were. Even though I probably could have went the rest of my life without knowing what either of those were. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
donovanrammstein 3
Ever think that maybe she WASN'T your girlfriend? That you're just delusional?
Izzy737 0
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!! owned! lol
lil_miss_shorty 2
I hope you dumped her pathetic little arse right in front of that dude.