Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself, "I wish I had a boyfriend like that…" I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML
Today, I was walking into my school and I saw two girls kissing. Being a lesbian myself, and thinking it would be cute, I winked at them. I guess one of them had a history of cheating with a girl who looked just like me, because her girlfriend came up and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Is anyone else somewhat reminded of one part of Paramore's Misery Business video? Except that the girl/guy roles are switched?
DameGreyWulf 1
Boob punch.
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Comments (99)
allmidnighteyes 11
Is anyone else somewhat reminded of one part of Paramore's Misery Business video? Except that the girl/guy roles are switched?
timtam24 0
i am now OP, sorry but she's not your gf
redbluegreen 41
I was actually thinking of Chris Brown and Rihanna.
allmidnighteyes 11
lmao, Rachel. Don't give me that lovey-dovey lovey-dovey kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss. Imma grab yo face and chove it from wall to wall. I don't care if ANY of the neighbors call....Then I'm gonna crack a bottle and make my body waddle, then shove it in your face 'cause you think you're a model!
Peroxide 3
Rihannas IQ is 117, can you beat her? Chris Brown-Yes I can
greenltrn2003 0
Peroxide...epic, still I must smh at that comment.
letthemxeatcake 0
I had the same thing in mind too!
GreenHacker 0
Dude, what's the problem? You just found out your girlfriend's a ****. That means she's easy and probably puts out.
aarmy 0
I know this is late, but 9 - lmao. I know where the refrence is from.
anthemjb 0
XD #8 my friend just asked me today, "on a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how pissed are you?" and then i saw this.
LissaMccracken 23
"That's not even your song!"... Haha nigahiga
unfortunate_13 5
oh the high school drama. sucks to be you though...
yaddameena 0
time to find a new gf.
Raiders714 0
Dude that sucks to be you you probably wernt as romantic as the other guy LOL
emanftw21 9
dude wtf
the_megster 1
that so messed up i would leave her asap !!!
DameGreyWulf 1
Boob punch.
amy397123 0
This.
anniebananie 3
**** punt.
dabomb1463 0
No no no ^^ This is what I call a win
NotLyingAboutIt 0
F*** her.........no i'm serious F*** her and then leave her if i were a dude thats what i would do
doriandarko 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
dude that sucks, do that thing that was on the news make a myspace, get a picture of what your ex-girlfriend would think is a hot guy, talk to her on myspace, make her love this person, then be like "**** you i never wana talk to your ugly face again, go kill yourself no one loves you" then she kills her self! HAHA bitches man
InsanePPG 25
That actually happened a couple of years ago. A girl stopped hanging out with one of her friends, so the friend's mom did exactly what you just described, and the girl killed herself because she was so upset by it. OP, I'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you leave her, if you haven't done so already.
RuralNinja 0
I'm sure he realized that, since he said it was on the news.
popoman 0
Not like she doesn't deserve it. The girl on the news, however, did not deserve it.
KingOfTheWastes 0
Is anybody else reminded of the "Love Hurts" quest from Fable 2?
akg98 13
No! Thts terrible!! Yes,cheating is bad, but suicide? Thts messed up
hahafmls 8
That is just cruel.
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
Don't ever ******* joke about suicide like that..
veganphotog 0
oh damn that sucks.
A83_fml 18
option 1: dirty sanchez her.
allmidnighteyes 11
option 2: Give her an Alabama Hot Pocket.
redbluegreen 41
Option 3: California Poppy.
QuitetheDuffles 0
Option 4: Falcon punch.
allmidnighteyes 11
Shota Tiger? Yuri Dragon? GURO DRAGON????
FailFoxtrot 0
Option 5: Curb Stomp