Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Maybe that explains why you are hanging out in Walmart with your dad, and not with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Better him than your boyfriend.
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Comments (46)
TheJester12 15
you're from Canada and there is a strong possibility that you are French aka you smell like rotting asshole when you move a fraction of an inch and it happens to be humid out. take the hint and brandish the stick ( or spray on if you aren't afraid of cancer) and stop smelling like Big Foots Dick in public . your dad is just looking out for ya ;)
1crabbygirl 10
How many ugly stereotypes can one person propagate in one FML post? Let's watch and see.
misshighjinks 5
My dad would have just told me I stink so at least yours is a bit nicer but still FYL for being in that situation
cassi135t 1
At least he was trying to be nice about it.. :]
MzViKki 4
Lmao.
nco1414 7
I doubt she has one!
I_dont_exist 5
ha u stink XD
ILuv_toaster182 5
Just giving you some fatherly advice. Could have been nicer about it but still
chrisllr2831 0
Take the mother ****** hint man! Geez I'm sick of stanky ass people. Wash your ass!!!
tplum6789 0
Take a showet
natkat78 3
Wow nice dad u got there tell him when u pass the toothpaste aisle "need some toothpaste? That was a hint too."