Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Maybe that explains why you are hanging out in Walmart with your dad, and not with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Better him than your boyfriend.
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Comments (46)
BrotherTheo 31
Actually I've been there. I've been the guy to have to tell the guy 'you stink'. It totally sucks and there's often no real gentle way to put it. OP your dad is trying to be a dad to you. Yes, it sucks. However it's much better coming from him then from one of your friends or some folks who barely know you who wait months or YEARS putting up with it before saying something right?
Enslaved 38
Second hint: never refuse a breath mint when offered.
Lynabear 0
Could've been worse. He could've went down the aisle and scooped tons of deodorant into your cart then gave you a death stare...
loserman67 36
That does kind of suck, but al least he didn't drag you into the aisle and make you choose one, then take you into the mouthwash/toothpaste aisle. He may be short on tacit, but his heart's in the right place and his nose works just fine.
TheNewGuy03 29
I think your dad is on the right track. And in the right aisle. I think most people who keep up with their hygiene usually recognize when they smell more funky than the Black Eyed Peas. Conversely, the perpetually smelly folk are typically ignorant of their violation of our olfactory receptors. Solution: WASH YO' ASS. |the kid|
PoshLife_Cross 5
Idk, op. When it comes to hygiene, it's best to be informed by someone close to you. Plus he wasn't too rude about it.
linkinpark98 24
Hey, get some deodorant or start taking showers more frequently. There's a solution for almost everything, OP.
dead_insects 18
Well, he did try to be subtle at first, gotta give him that, plus-he does seem to have your best interest in mind. He could have said nothing and let someone with no emotional attachment to you let you know in a much harsher way. It sucks realizing you're the stinky one, but he was suggesting a way to remedy it... this hot summer is kickin' everyone's ass tho!
freedomofmusic 12
Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how using deodorant and showering frequently are mutually exclusive... It's not a choose one or the other situation, it's a please start doing both type of thing.
LetzzSii 0
All I can say is don't be trashy be classy.