Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Maybe that explains why you are hanging out in Walmart with your dad, and not with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Better him than your boyfriend.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Better him than your boyfriend.
silbot 11
Usually, if someone stinks, people don't like to be around them. Keep that in mind..
d_unsub 12
I agree with you, I think is better if the person is close to you; and even if the person is not close to you is still better if They tell you. At least I would prefer if anyone told me instead of trying to protect my feelings; for me its better to know I have to improve my hygiene than being unaware that people are uncomfortable around me cos I stink.
tjv3 10
Maybe you should shower more OP and use body wash
tjv3 10
When I was in school we had a group of kids that we had to have a special after class discussion about personal hygiene because they all stunk very bad and had very bad breath
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
worst part of management= having to tell someone they need to shower. Nothing worse than telling someone not close to you they stink!
perdix 31
Maybe that explains why you are hanging out in Walmart with your dad, and not with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
bananatrees 4
Just because someone has a boyfriend, doesn't mean they have to be with them 24/7 and aren't allowed to go shopping with their family. OP, at least he tried to be subtle :)
perdix 31
#9, CTFD. Why so serious? Just trying to make a few little jokes here. I should be grateful you didn't jump down my throat for suggesting it's not fun to go to Walmart with your dad. A few days ago, I took my daughter to Walmart and had her doubling over with laughter at my zany hijinks.
perdix 31
#23, it's funny that you used (sp?) once. You could have used it many, many times in your post. :D
TheVelocirabbit 10
What does SP stand for on here? I tried looking it up, but it had a lot of answers, and I didn't know which one.
peve3 12
Spelling mistake possibly??
Roflsauruz 12
28- the person above me is right. When someone goes " (sp?) " beside a word, they're wondering if they got the spelling correct and/or are unsure of the actual spelling of the word. Sp. = spelling.
Roflsauruz 12
Er, I think some of the things i said were redundant, lol... Oopsiesssss.... :'c... AAAAAANNYYyyywaaaayyyy.... Yes, in this case, #28, the "sp?" was referring to the spelling. :)
TheVelocirabbit 10
Oh, okay. Thanks >u
Roflsauruz 12
No probleeemooooooo.... ^-^! Hehe.
Tarah2112 3
Well while we're learning here what does OP mean please? Lol
fylx100 19
47- OP just stands for "Original Poster" and now I know you're gonna read that and think "What is original poster?" because that is what I was thinking when I first found out lol. Original poster is the male/female that posted this FML. So If you read "FYL OP" they are telling the person who posted the FML that their life sucks. Lol hope this helps you understand!
muzy 23
54- It might just be that you use the mobile version. I find that I make quite a few mistakes when using my mobile because of the keys being too close to each other. dyslexic* (sorry I couldn't contain myself).
MakeTodayADTR 20
All I can picture is some greasy kid heading straight for the computer games isle. :/
123josie123 11
OP deserves it for being a Smelly Kelly.
onlychildFTW 34
I think OP should take the hint, and of he doesn't already, shower in the mornings. I shower at night but I really don't smell. Even after sports. But OP, FYL as well as YDI for being smelly.
wironandine 8
Lol same here. He was at Walmart shopping for clothing
crazzy_jazzy 4
That would be me...
allisurd 17
Steam has sales, no point in running to walmart for that
Finnick_fml 12
.. I'm sorry, OP. /: At least he wasn't terribly blunt, most people tend to be assholes if someone around them stinks. There's no easy, unoffensive way to tell people that they need to put on deodorant/shower more - but at least your Dad told you! :) Trust me, it's a lot better that then being embarrassed by people wrinkling their nose when around you/some random stranger telling you. I don't blame you, though - it's superrrr hot & disgusting out :I
TheArchAngel 8
Finnick got 4th comment!
ishuvaibhav 4
What's OP mean?
n3rdzgotskillz 29
It might not have been because you smell! Maybe you had sweat stains. My friend gets laaaarge sweat stains, but doesn't smell at all.
DocBastard 40
I always thought Walmart was a third world country where people don't use deodorant. Hm.
TheDrifter 24
I have seen the children wearing it as war paint Doc, I think that counts. That place is like the world's biggest unsupervised daycare.
TheVelocirabbit 10
And that's a reason I like Festival more.
kimg0885 23
One would think so what with all the dirty, ravenous, uncared for children running around.
citymayer 7
It's weird when I see people dumping on Walmart for trashiness and such because the Walmart in my city is actually a pretty nice place. It's clean and looks nice. Even smells nice. People control their children. Only the occasional public pajama sighting. The only problems they share with other walmarts described on the Internet are the restrooms (a given since its public) and the checkout lines.
cBlackout 13
51, go look up 'people of walmart'. Please and thank you.
citymayer 7
Too bad it has nothing to do with what I said. Allow me to paraphrase, i find it weird when people dump on Walmart bc the Walmart in my town (the only Walmart I've been to) is awesome. What does people of Walmart have to do with that? I already know what people of Walmart is. So... Your welcome for wasting my time answering you.
nancyschmancy 9
Wow, you really are mayor. You excel at being a dick!
trueblue170 13
I think your dad was being cruel to be kind, there.
Blueglasscup 18
Well at least he was being somewhat subtle about it. Also who else is having problems with the app?
ashtay01 5
I was today
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Don't gather Flies- Deodorize!! :D
rcgirl2 11
Too bad that one girl did when she was laying on her stomach in her bikini. Make sure you wash your ass too OP. You don't want to end up like her.
motherlovahh 7
either that, or shower more often, your pick.